aberrant equation

Fly Delta - Join the CIA

2007-10-27T21:21:00.000-04:00

In case I haven't mentioned it before: I travel for a living. Which means I'm on a plane at least twice a week.

Normally I sleep on the plane- or put in my earplugs and read the paper. And, generally, I have a few drinks before- and during the flight.

Anyway... about a month ago- while flying home- I looked up and I SWEAR I saw a CIA commerical on the TV during my flight.

Yes. That's what I said. A COMMERCIAL FOR THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY- on my Delta flight.

Strange- if true. But I wasn't sure if it was real- or if it was the bourbon...

But I needed to find out.

So, for the past few weeks, I payed close attention to the television on the plane- waiting to see the same commercial again.

Finally, this week, I DID!

AND I took a picture of it to prove it was true...

Does ANYONE have any idea why the CIA is advertising on Delta?

Dog and the Design Star

2007-08-06T11:54:00.001-04:00

I was flipping through the channels and came across Larry King interviewing someone I initially thought was the really, uh, flamboyant guy from HGTV's Design Star.

On closer inspection, it turned out to be "Dog" from AETV's Dog the Bounty Hunter.

This is "Sparkle" Josh from HGTV's Design Star.

And this is Dog the Bounty Hunter on Larry King Live:

See what I mean?

Worst Slogan Ever

2007-08-05T22:06:00.001-04:00

MORE POWER THAN YOU NEED,

ONE DAY YOU'LL NEED IT

huh?

Cheap(er) Gas: Thanks Giant Eagle

2007-07-27T17:01:00.001-04:00

Personally, I'm in favor of higher gas prices as a tool for driving down consumption.

But I'm NOT one to pass up a great deal- and today I got one on gasoline.

This afternoon I finally used all of the points I earned from buying groceries at Giant Eagle to save myself $2.20/gallon on a full tank of gas.

As a result, I was able to fill up my truck's 18 gallon tank for $8.44!

Fish Considered Second-Class Pets?

2007-07-20T10:39:00.000-04:00

Have you heard about the fish food recall?

I didn't think so.

It wasn't on the news. I just found out about it from this sign at the grocery store.

I checked the Sergeants website and, sure enough, the recalled fish food has the same problem as the cat and dog food that was recalled with such a big fuss last month:

Sergeant's Pet Care Products, Inc. has announced it is voluntarily removing ornamental fish food products from retail store shelves. A portion of the production lots of Atlantis® Goldfish Flake Food and Atlantis® Tropical Fish Flake Food have been found to contain the contaminant, melamine.

No Thinking During National Emergency

2007-07-06T21:17:00.000-04:00

Funny stuff!

Someone posted this sign on High St. in front of the Cup O' Joe.

There Are Alternatives

2007-06-23T11:13:00.000-04:00

I saw this huge billboard along the highway the other night...

This got me thinking about the signs that SHOULD have been there.

Signs like...

or...

Blacks, Jews and Babies?

2007-05-20T15:34:00.000-04:00

I saw this ridiculous bumper sticker on a car at the grocery store that attempts to equate Slavery and Genocide with Abortion:

Enough said.

Truth Booth?

2007-05-01T00:18:00.000-04:00

I was in Cleveland last weekend- at the Tower City Mall- when I came across this crazy thing called the "Truth Booth".

Sitting between the cell phone booth and the jewelry booth, this cheesy, mall-based display of unborn baby pictures was a serious embarrassment to the 'pro-life' campaign.

According to the signage, the "truth boof" claimed to have "4D ultrasound" images. (I assume the 4th 'D' is time- which is hardly something to brag about. I would have TOTALLY been impressed by a 5D display- assuming the 5th 'D' was, of course, the TWIGHLIGHT ZONE.)

Anyway... I REALLY wanted to stop and 'talk' with the group of old dudes sitting around the display - but I was carrying a bunch of luggage and decided to come back later- but no one was there when I came back.

So, anyway, I just checked out their website and found even MORE ridiculous info:

Philosophy:
* State the facts scientifically by referring to the brochures. (I MUST get one of those brochures ... ha!)
* Withhold from discussing any issues. The images of the baby speak for themselves. (ha HA!)
* Locate in area malls to better reach the youth. (HA HA HA!)

I'm Kevin Kurgis and I'm a Lawyer...

2007-04-15T02:43:00.000-04:00

People are confused by, and deathly afraid of, legal stuff. Lawyers know this- and often create advertisements that exploit these fears.

This Ad for Kevin Kurgis- a personal injury lawyer in Ohio- is a great example of ads that use fear to gain new customers. It's really funny- and completely over the top- even though it totally follows the personal injury lawyer ad format.

The Kurgis ad starts off with a cheesy accident reenactment (sorry, I left cut this part off of the youtube video)- followed a fast-paced message from Kevin Kurgis, Lawyer, delivered while he walks quickly through a dark courtrooom accompanied by spooky lighting and scary music.

Just watch it and you'll see what I mean...

Pat Boone's Gonna Save My Soul

2007-03-26T22:21:00.000-04:00

I guess I shouldn't care- they always have stupid ads on these right-wing websites.

But come on- Pat Boone? Pressuring TV advertisers not to show ads during sexy tv shows?

Like network television has ANYTHING sexy? Violent- maybe. But nothing sexy, I promise you.

Hell - the shirt Pat is wearing in the anti-sexy-TV ad is more sexy than ANY network television show I've ever seen.

I've included another view of the same shirt. Damn! now THAT's sexy....

Postal Service Sells Child Porn- Then Arrests Customers

2007-03-22T00:06:00.000-04:00

Don't get me wrong- I'm not a fan of child porn or people who promote it. But reading this story leaves me with a lot of unanswered questions like :

1. How can the postal service post an ad for child porn and then arrest people who respond to it? Isn't that entrapment?

2. Who the fuck buys anything on VIDEO TAPE anymore?

3. Has this guy never watched a cop show on TV (or on video tape even)?

Jesus, man- Rule #1, after being arrested, is ALWAYS: ask for a lawyer before you say ANYTHING.

And even if you can't remember that rule- you can AT LEAST REMEMBER NOT TO ADMIT OT SOMETHING EVEN WORSE! e.g. if they arrest you for watching child porn DO NOT make it worse by admitting to touching and/or exposing yourself to small boys at a church camp.

--------------

Former pastor pleads guilty to receiving child pornography
Associated Press
COLUMBUS, Ohio - A former pastor pleaded guilty in federal court Wednesday to receiving child pornography across state lines, the U.S. Department of Justice said.
David Waser, 57, former pastor of Newark's Second Church of Christ, faces five to 20 years in prison when he is sentenced in U.S. District Court.
Authorities said Waser ordered 11 child pornography videos in June 2006 by sending a $130 money order to an address listed on an Internet advertisement that had been posted by the U.S. Postal Inspection Service. Officials said some of the videos involved children as young as 4.
A postal inspector who posed as a letter carrier delivered the videos to Waser's home in July and obtained a search warrant immediately afterward. The inspector found the package opened and one of the videos inserted into a VCR, the government said.
"He cooperated with authorities, he accepted responsibility, he's seeking treatment," said Waser's attorney Keith Yeazel. "Once he's sentenced, he's potentially looking at a lifetime of supervision."
Besides a prison sentence, Waser faces a fine of up to $250,000, supervised release for up to life and the possibility that he would be required to register as a sexual offender.
A U.S. postal inspector testified in August that Waser said in interviews that he touched several children inappropriately during the past 37 years and had exposed himself to children at church camp and pretended it was an accident.
Waser was being held in a Franklin County jail. A sentencing date had not yet been scheduled, Yeazel said.

My stick is sharpened… what was that return address again?

2007-03-04T22:51:00.000-05:00

You can buy all kinds of crazy, politically-themed crap these days.

This, for example, is something called a "Postage Pal™". It contains a mildly funny joke comparing two likely Democratic candidates to a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

A Postage Pal appears to be nothing more than a sticker that the buyer is supposed to attach to the front of an envelope prior to affixing the proper postage.

I am not exactly sure who the target audience is for something like this. I do know that it would certainly be inappropriate for any type of business or professional correspondence- and the humor would certainly be lost on the person processing your phone bill.

It should probably be excluded from your yearly batch of Christmas cards- but it might find an interested and enthusiastic audience among the people processing your donation to the ultra-conservative, faith-based charity of your choice.

Whatever you do- don't send it to me... because I have my stick sharpened- and google maps all ready to give me directions to your house.

Cinci-tucky Airport (CVG) Is #1 (most expensive airport)

2007-03-01T22:55:00.000-05:00

I live in Columbus, OH and I travel for work almost every week.

Two weeks ago I got a call on Thursday. I needed to be in Cincinnati on Monday morning.

It's about a hundred miles from here to there- maybe an hour an a half if the traffic is bad- but still, I decided to look at flights online.

The cheapest I could find was for $1100... That's like ten bucks a mile!

Ridiculous. I decided to drive.

Then I got a call from my boss on Friday to tell me that I was not going to Cincinnati- instead, I would be working in Florida.

I again went online to price flights... Flight to jacksonville, Florida: $299- with one stop. And guess where that stop was?

Yes: Cincinnati.

HOW THE FUCK CAN THEY CHARGE $299 TO FLY TO FLORIDA- WITH A LAYOVER IN CINCINNATI - BUT CHARGE $1200 ON THE FIRST HALF OF THAT FLIGHT?!!!!!!

I still don't get it.

Anyway... here's an article about it... please let me know if YOU can figure it out.

CVG earns a bad No. 1
Airport has nation's highest fares once again
BY ALEXANDER COOLIDGE ACOOLIDGE@ENQUIRER.COM

HEBRON - We're No. 1 again. And again, and again, and again.

Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport has racked up an entire year atop the list of the nation's most expensive major airports to fly.

The average roundtrip ticket here costs $556 - $80 more than No. 2 ranked San Francisco International with an average fare of $476, according to a new report issued by the Department of Transportation's Office of Aviation Analysis. The latest data are from the third quarter of 2006.

Rounding out the top five: No. 3, Washington's Dulles International with an average roundtrip fare of $434; No. 4, Dallas/Fort Worth International with tickets averaging $428; and Newark (N.J.) Liberty International Airport with tickets averaging $422.

With the Hebron airport dominated by Delta Air Lines' second-largest hub, consumers have long complained that ticket prices are sky high. With the exception of six months in late 2004 and early 2005, the airport has consistently ranked among the most expensive major airports in the country. The last time CVG wasn't No. 1 was during the third quarter of 2005 - when it was No. 5.

"If you've got an unlimited bank account, you don't mind living with Cincinnati's fares," said John Banner, a 56-year-old Clifton attorney who frequently catches flights out of Dayton or Indianapolis to save money.

Delta and its Erlanger-based Comair subsidiary operate more than 80 percent of the flights from CVG.

Airport officials have said they've tried to woo low-cost carriers, but the prospect of competing with Delta at its hub has been less than tempting. Spokesman Ted Bushelman added that even when low-cost carriers have come to CVG, Delta lowers its prices on competing routes until the competition abandons the airport. "Fliers stick with Delta," he said.

Delta officials have defended local fares in the past, saying they cover the costs of offering direct service to more than 120 destinations, including Europe, Mexico and the Caribbean.

"Cincinnati customers continue to choose their hometown airport to take advantage of convenient nonstop service," said spokeswoman Gina Laughlin.

Local flyers got a break from the high fares in the summer of 2004 through early 2005 when Delta launched a simplified pricing structure before later filing for bankruptcy in the fall of 2005.

George Bush: Ethanol Scientist

2007-02-28T20:29:00.000-05:00

George loves to dress up and play pretend- Fighter Pilot, Rancher, President...

Last week he dressed up like a lab tech while visiting an Ethanol plant in North Carolina.

He was there promoting his weak-ass "20 in 10" proposal to reduce gasoline usage by 20% in ten years.

Here is a better idea: because the price-elasticity of gasoline is 20%, put a 100% tax on all gasoline sales and the usage will drop 20% TODAY!

But MTV would not pimp his wheelchair...

2007-02-22T00:59:00.000-05:00

Neither Rain, Nor Sleet, Nor Snow...

2007-02-15T21:20:00.000-05:00

After I spent a bunch of time digging through the ice and snow on my sidewalk to make a path for the mail guy...

Cornell McCleary's Grammar Sucks Almost as much as his Predictions

2007-02-08T01:28:00.000-05:00

In a recent post, Cornell McCleary claims that William Todd (dirtbag republican lawyer) can beat Columbus Mayor Michael Coleman. "If Todd can get outside Central Ohio money to flow his way" he says, "a Mayoral campaign ran on character issues will potentially destroy Coleman. "

1. Keep dreaming. Todd is a dirtbag lawyer with no political experience.

2. it's RUN not RAN.

Shooting Stuff

2007-01-19T00:40:00.000-05:00

I was a Bevis and Butthead fan... but never really got into King of the Hill.

However, I found this pretty funny...

Hank Hill: But I never get to bond with Bobby
on account of he's not good at much. Shooting stuff is something A father and son can do together.

Twenty-Twenty-Twenty Four Hours- Oh No!

2007-01-14T23:21:00.000-05:00

Let me start by saying that I like the show 24- even if it is on FOX and even though, in a recent post on RAB, Matt confesses his love for it.

I will admit, there certainly are a lot of things for creepy, right-angled weirdos like Herr Naugle to love about this show. But it is not, as he claims, "the most Republican show of all time".

His statement, however, is not at all suprising.

That's because Matt doesn't understand the difference between being a Republican (i.e. a member of the more 'conservative' of the two political parties in the US) and being a right-winged kook.

In reality, the most Republican TV show of all time would have to be one of the many sit-coms from the 50's or early 60's (Leave it to Beaver, Andy Griffith, etc.)- simple and conservative with lots of white people in traditional family roles.

24, on the other hand, has none of this. It is a tense serial drama about terrorism and torture. It even has TWO black presidents!

Matt and the Republicans will agree on one thing: it's AWESOME that everyone on 24 gets their news from the FOX News Network. The terrorists, CTU (The anti-terrorists) and even the President of the United States; everyone on 24 is watching FOX.

But the more subtle, more serious stuff - the stuff that really gets wingnut juices flowing- would actually be offensive, or just ignored, by most true Republicans.

For example, in the attached photo, Jack Bauer is stabbing some Arab terrorist in the neck with a pen in front of an American flag curtin (see photo).

I'm sure a socially conservative Repubican would be offended by the image, if he wasn't already in bed.

A fiscally conservative Republican, if still awake, would be watching the stock reports from Asia instead of some sit-com on Fox.

Personally, I found it quite amusing.

But Matt and his crew?

They spent the next commercial break quickly and quietly (so as not to wake up Mother) zipping up their pants and cleaning off the TV screen with a tissue.

All Signs Point To...

2007-01-08T01:19:00.000-05:00

I have always wondered who was responsible for changing all of those signs that show the name of the Governor- and how soon, after the new Governor takes office, the signs are changed.

Well- I'd like to thank the Toledo Blade for answering one part of this question.

According to the Blade, "Minutes (after Strickland is sworn in as Ohio's new Governor), workers plan to scrape Mr. Taft’s name from the window of the door of the office and replace it with Mr. Strickland’s."

This certainly makes sense. You can't be a respected leader with some other guy's name on your office door.

But what about all of the other signs? Like the really big ones that currently say: WELCOME TO OHIO – Bob Taft, Governor.

Will those all be updated? By whom? When?

Here's a better question: will Ted put his name up there too?

It seems like a waste of our tax dollars to change these perfectly good street signs every few years just to promote a recently elected official .

I did a little research (very little, actually) and found a photo of the Welcome to Ohio sign from the early 70's- and a more recent one.

You'll notice that they didn't used to have the name of the Governor on the sign.

Creation Museum Puts Artifacts of History in True, Biblical Context

2007-01-05T15:33:00.000-05:00

Something big is happening in Petersburg, KY. Something monumental.

They are building a museum. A very special museum. And it's about damn time.

For far too long 'science' has had a monopoly on museums. But that is about to change with the Creation Museum now under construction in Petersburg, KY.

Unlike Traditional, Godless Natural History museums that focus only on the theory of evolution,
the new Creation Museum will provide its visitors with a bible-focused "walk through history" as it really happened; as it was dictated to us by God in the Bible.

The new Creation Museum will provide the correct (i.e. biblical) context for the artifacts of history normally found in the traditional, homosexual-run museums.

At long last, you will be able to see life-size dinosaurs in larger-than life dioramas depicting the
world at the time these great creatures lived alongside man… over SIX THOUSAND YEARS AGO.

Unfortunately, the museum is still under construction and they don't plan to be open until at least June, 2007.

In the mean time, I recommend checking out their really great website. Especially the online walkthrough of the future Creation Museum , which gives you a glimpse of what you will be able to see on your vacation to Kentucky next summer.

Stay tuned for my next post where I will provide some advice and insight for visitors to this new kind of museum.

Biblical Natural History In Petersburg, KY

2007-01-05T11:34:00.000-05:00

Answers in Genesis, the group building a creation museum in Petersburg, KY, couldn't have chosen a better site for their $25 million temple to the simple beauty of history as defined by literal bible interpretation.

For the uninitiated, here is the description from their website:

The 50,000 sq. ft. Creation Museum located within the greater Cincinnati area will proclaim the Bible as supreme authority in all matters of faith and practice in every area it touches on. Set to open in June 2007, this “walk through history” museum will counter evolutionary natural history museums that turn countless minds against Christ and Scripture.

Petersburg is a community in Louisville, KY. According to info from the last Census, Petersburg has a Population of only 1,843. 97.45% are white and 71.712% are Republican.

Yes- Petersburg is the perfect place for a small group of Christian soldiers to make their stand against the Science Conspiracy's anti-faith agenda. Finally, a museum where Christian Home schooled children can learn the truth.

Stay tuned for my review of their awesome website!

YOUR A SCUMBUCKET FOR TAReiNG THIS OFF!

2007-01-03T23:00:00.000-05:00

I found this above the urinal at a local bar. It says:

YOUR A SCUMBUCKET FOR TAReiNG THIS OFF!

Everyone knows that bathroom graffiti always contains grammar and spelling mistakes.

One of the most common is the use of "your" instead of "you're". (usually in the form of: your a fucking idiot- or some such retort)

Therefore if the incorrect use of "your" was the only mistake in this message then I certainly wouldn't have bothered to include it here.

But this one has another wonderful and amusing spelling mistake: "tareing". (Which I assume is supposed to be "tearing" i.e. ripping)

That's an original one- and not just for bathroom walls.

A google search finds only '2,700 results for tareing' - making me think the author of this graffiti is pretty original.

And, except for the crappy internet poets (e.g. tareing up the sheets ), this turns out to be true:

June 29, 1805
Captain William Clark (of Lewis and Clark fame)

Captain William Clark... a torrent of rain and hail fell more violent than ever I saw before, the rain fell like one voley of water falling from the heavens and gave us time only to get out of the way of a torrent of water which was Poreing down the hill in[to] the River with emence force tareing every thing before it takeing with it large rocks & mud,

Warning: Shoe Contains Security Device

2007-01-03T22:51:00.000-05:00

While returning my shoes after bowling, I noticed this message printed on the inside:

Warning: Shoe Contains Security Device

Whatever could it be?

I walked outside the bowling alley, to my car, while wearing these shoes earlier in the evening.

No alarm went off.

They might as well have written Warning: beware of dog.

Anyway- I can't imagine anyone would really be fooled by this message.

Instead, they should consider writing: Please don't steal our shoes or we'll be really, really sad.

Pat Robertson: God's Comic

2007-01-03T10:20:00.000-05:00

Want to know what IS NOT going to happen this year?

Just check out Pat Robertson's 2007 predictions.

This year he is predicting a big terrorist attack on the US.

Which actually seems pretty likely.

However, I am convinced that God is again screwing with Pat for being such a twit.

Here are some of the things God told Pat in previous years...

2006
If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms. There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest.

According to NOAA, California and Oregon had normal precipitation in 2006 and Washington State was actually below normal.

2005
2005 will be another good year for the world. The terrorist threat will diminish. Nations will walk in peace.

According to the US State Department, "The number of terrorist attacks worldwide increased nearly fourfold in 2005 to 11,111, with strikes in Iraq accounting for 30 percent of the total"

2004
I think George Bush is going to win in a walk. I really believe I'm hearing from the Lord it's going to be like a blowout election in 2004.

According to Media Matters for America, "Bush's margin of victory was the smallest for a reelected incumbent president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916."

And if you don't yet believe God is screwing with Mr. Robertson- here are some more of His political predictions:

Sen. Jay Rockefeller will win the presidential election of 1996

Pat Robertson will win the presidential election of 1988

The world economy will collapse in 1985

Russia will invade Israel in 1982

LIVESTRONG AND PROSPER

2007-01-02T19:40:00.000-05:00

Who isn't sick and tired of hearing about Lance fucking Armstrong?

I know I am.

But, for those few die-hard, yellow-bracelet-wearing fanatics out there...

American Century Investments has something just for you: LIVESTRONG Portfolios.

What the hell does this have to do with Cycling or with Cancer, you might ask?

Nothing.

This is about branding.

Anyway, if you are interested, another Ohio blogger (Kira, at Penny Foolish) did a good review of the fund. I especially like the part about the strange licensing agreement between Livestrong and ACI.

Tradition!

2007-01-02T15:47:00.000-05:00

Target had stacks of these Traditional Electric Menorahs at their post-holiday sale.

According to dictionary.com, Traditional is defined as "pertaining to time-honored orthodox doctrines".

Observant Orthodox Jews, however, do not turn on electric appliances on the Sabbath (i.e. Saturday).

This year, Chanukah started on a Saturday (Dec. 16th).

Maybe next year they'll sell better.

Learn how to use your chopsticks

2006-12-10T21:41:00.000-05:00

If you click on the picture below, you will be able to view a more detailed image of the chopsticks I used to eat my dinner this evening.

Doing so, you will immediately notice the odd misspellings and strange grammar used on the chopstick wrapper (see below for a complete transcription- errors in red).

I point this out not because I want to poke fun at the Chinese- but, instead, because the mistakes are so strange and so unlike anything I've ever encountered before that they almost seem intentional.

I am, I must point out, no student of Asian languages, but I would argue that the writing on this chopstick wrapper has been intentionally altered to give the appearance of authenticity.

Has that been done before? Attempting to imply authenticity through intentional misspellings and grammatical mistakes?

Well- toy companies do it all the time. For example, the backwards 'R' in the Toys-R-Us logo is intended to imply the writing of a child.

Still - this seems like strange place for such sophisticated marketing techniques.

Side 1:
Welcome to Chinese Restaurant.
Please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks
the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history
and cultual.

Side 2:
Learn how to use your chopsticks

Tuk under tnurb
and help firmly

Add second chcostick
hold if as you hold
a pencil

Hold tirst chopstick
in original position
move the second
on up and down
Now you can pick
up anything:

Alaska's "Bermuda Triangle"

2006-12-06T16:58:00.000-05:00

Last week I came across a National Geographic Channel show called "ALASKA'S BERMUDA TRIANGLE".

Not only does the name not make any sense (Bermuda is almost 4,000 miles from Alaska) but the damn thing isn't even a triangle...

This is not your beautiful phone...

2006-11-26T21:09:00.000-05:00

Closed Captioning mistakes on the local news are certainly understandable- but a nation-wide commercial for Sprint?

This is a screen shot of the part of the commercial when "You're Beautiful" is playing.

Ohio Still "Makes Things"

2006-11-25T16:21:00.000-05:00

Reading a recent BSB post about how Ohio's economy has changed- i.e. we no longer "make things"- I was reminded of something I see all over the country... the name of misc. Ohio companies on all kinds of restroom and restaurant products.

For example, the paper toilet covers at the airport in Salt Lake City were made in Highland Heights, OH (see picture below).

I couldn't find a NAICS classification code for Toilet and Toilet-Related Products- but they do have one for Paper Products (manufacturing) and the statistics show this industry going strong in Ohio: almost 300 companies with nearly 30,000 paid employees.

So, at least we have that going for us.

Sweethearts not bleeding hearts

2006-11-22T09:15:00.000-05:00

Conservative Match.com claims to be "The place for Conservative Singles, Conservative Events, and more. Find people who share your cultural, political and religious values. With a culture that is often hostile to conservative values our goal is to provide alternative resources. "

But don't get too excited, boys- because you will never meet the girl in the ad.

Instead, you'll end up meeting one of these winners...

RAB- yeah you know me (because everyone else is BLOCKED)

2006-11-21T21:49:00.000-05:00

Since my blocked status prevents me from posting on Right-Angle-Blah (see previous post), I guess I'll post my response here...

First off- I'm not sure which brain-dead, right-wing nutjob is posting this crap (they all seemed to be named Matt or Matthew) but I'm guessing it's Naugle. Which only makes sense, since the facts are all fucked up - as usual.

Let's start with the title: Ted & the Pedophile, revisited.

Catching, Nasty and- in typical "mathew" style- completely untrue.

(blah blah NAMBLA blah blah)

FACT: no one that worked for Ted Strickland has ever been accused of pedophilia. For the full story on THAT topic, check out Brian's Post on Plunderbund.

My Account on Right Angle Blog: BLOCKED

2006-11-21T20:40:00.000-05:00

This is the message I received from RAB when I tried to post a response to their retarded post: How do Homeless People Afford an Attorney?

The username AberrantEquation has been blocked.

Anybody else wanna sign in an leave the appropriate comments?

Why We Didn't Win More...

2006-11-08T01:14:00.000-05:00

"I wanted to vote but I had to dye my hair and watching Tommy Boy..."

Issue 3 a Poor Substitute for REAL Gambling

2006-11-07T14:50:00.000-05:00

Nevada, as you might have heard, has a real gambling industry that provides real tax revenue to the state. So much revenue, in fact, that the state has had a surplus for the past three years.

In Reno, the local paper runs articles with headlines line: Gubernatorial candidates debate how to spend tax revenue.

Could you imagine seeing a headline like that in the Plain Dealer?

Well- if you believe the ads for Issue 3- then you might well be expecting just that.

You might think that Issue 3 is the first step toward getting REAL gambling in Ohio.

But it's not.

Issue 3 is just like Issue 4: a constitutional ammendment put on the ballot by signatures PURCHASED by big business and promoted with ads PAID FOR by the same businesses.

I am all for gambling in Ohio- real gambling- not a couple of slot machines at a race track- which is all Issue 3 will provide.

One way of doing that successfully is with a plan like the one in PA that was passed by their legislature, not gambling advocates.

That plan doesn't just give away licenses to the few people who sponsored the bill- like Ohio's Issue 3. Instead- it forces potential casino operators to bid - guaranteeing billions of dollars of investment in PA- including a new hockey stadium for Pittsburgh.

When it comes to gambling, Ohioans certainly could learn something from PA about earning.

I am thinking this is very funny, no?

2006-11-06T22:09:00.000-05:00

A Republican congressman in Indiana complains that telemarketers calling voters on his behalf have such heavy foreign accents they cannot be understood....

very funny...

[fully story here]

Ohio Effective Government Project?

2006-11-06T17:56:00.000-05:00

Had a message on my machine this weekend from the "Ohio Effective Government Project" ...

[Listen to Message]

It is a Debra Pryce add- straight up. Mentions her name in the very first sentence.

However- I can find no information about this group except this brief description on OpenSecrets- which says that the group has reported ZERO contributions and ZERO expends:

Stated Purpose
To educate Ohioans concerning issues of vital importance to their daily lives such as the national and state economies, national defense and security, health care, and education, and to inform them of the positions of elected officials and candidates on these issues. To directly or indirectly accept contributions or make expenditures, or both, for exempt function activities within the meaning of section 527 of the Internal Revenue Code.

Email Address
bwaldren@core.com

Established Date
09/08/2006

Contact Person
Beth Waldren

Contact Address
14 E. Gay Street, Suite 400Columbus, OH 43215

Blackwell's Perseverative Press Releases Actually Symptom of Rare Psychological Disorder

2006-11-02T15:10:00.000-05:00

Two new emails just arrived: one from Merriam-Webster and the other from Ken Blackwell.

The MW email informed me that the word of the day is:

perseverate \per-SEV-uh-rayt\ verb
1 : to repeat or recur persistently
2 : to go back over previously covered ground

It also went on to provide an interesting history of the word- including:

In the early 1900s, psychologists adopted "perseveration" for the act of repeating a behavior over and over again.

And here I was thinking Ken was just an asshole for sending out nasty press releases over and over again...

It turns out he has a genuine pschological disorder- Perseveration- which causes him to send out crap like this every day:

"Michael Moore would be proud of Ted Strickland," LoParo added. "Even Hillary Clinton condemned John Kerry. Strickland just doesn't get it. He is an unabashed Washington D.C. liberal who doesn't understand Ohio values."

Please don't call me Boner...

2006-10-31T14:50:00.000-05:00

The way John Boehner pronounces his last name has always bugged me. It seems like a joke- like Young Frank-en-steen.

This is how they would pronounce "Boehner" in German.

Doesn't sound like Bay-ner- does it?

Nope.

Sounds more like:

boner

1. a foolish and obvious blunder; stupid mistake.

2. An erection of the penis.

Ken Blackwell vs. Farmers

2006-10-28T20:54:00.000-04:00

Barbed wire: a wire or strand of wires having small pieces of sharply pointed wire twisted around it at short intervals, used chiefly for fencing in livestock, keeping out trespassers, etc.

So...

does Blackwell think Farmers are livestock? Or Trespassers?

IF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA MOTHA FUKER THAT KILLED U!

2006-10-28T00:36:00.000-04:00

I did a lot of stupid stuff as a kid. But I didn't write most of it down. I didn't do it in public- generally.

I REALLY hope Google keeps cached versions of myspace pages around for A LONG, LONG time. Long enough that background checks will turn up crap like this:

IF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA MOTHA FUKER THAT KILLED U!


..._.....____________________, ,
....../ `---___________----_____] = = = = = D
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//

WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
send this GUN to everyone you care about including me if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get a 13 your A TRUE HOMIE

Breaking News: Scott Pullins is STILL a Huge Dick

2006-10-26T15:29:00.000-04:00

Scott Pullins has again proven that any poor schmuck can get mentioned in the press just by being a huge dick.

His latest tactic involves writing extremely nasty and unbelievable crap about someone that actually does matter: Ted Strickland.

But Scott and his family have been acting like dicks for years.

This story is a good example...

Attorney general will not intervene

By Nick Worner, News Staff Writer
07:06 AM, Thursday, May 11, 2006

MOUNT VERNON — Ohio Attorney General Jim Petro’s Office will not intervene in an ongoing dispute between the Apple Valley Property Owners Association and local attorney Scott Pullins.

On May 3, Pullins issued a press release stating that the Attorney General’s Office was investigating the AVPOA for the “potential illegal removal” of his wife, Kathy Elliot Pullins, from the organization’s board of directors. He stated he was informed of the investigation via a conference call with Petro’s office.

Bob Beasley, spokesman for the Attorney General, said Petro’s office lacks the jurisdiction to investigate Pullins’ claims and denied there was an investigation.

“There is no investigation ... not from this office,” said Beasley. “We determined that the property owners association is not a charitable trust, therefore the Attorney General’s Office does not have jurisdiction in this matter.”

In the press release, Pullins stated that he, his wife and his in-laws were harassed by the AVPOA after Mrs. Pullins became suspicious of “fraud, mismanagement and misspending of association resources” and requested documents from the AVPOA.

In March, the board voted unanimously to remove Mrs. Pullins from her position.

Pullins alleges this dismissal was “without reason or cause”; the AVPOA states Mrs. Pullins was dismissed for “just cause” in accordance with the group’s bylaws.

In its official statement, the AVPOA stated that an outside accounting firm conducts an annual independent audit of the group’s financial activities. The audits have found no “mismanagement, misspending, or any other improper activity,” according to the AVPOA.

Pullins also states the AVPOA illegally closed a roadway in Apple Valley on Election Day in November 2005. Pullins, who was a candidate for township trustee in the election, said the closure forced voters to take a lengthy detour in order to get to a polling station.

Pullins also filed litigation against the AVPOA after a Jan. 6 confrontation with the president of the AVPOA board, Carl Holmes, in which Pullins alleged that he was physically attacked. Pullins stated that after the incident, he and his family received threats and harassment.

Closet Homosexuals For Blackwell

2006-10-19T01:11:00.001-04:00

I just got an email from Google Alerts that included a link to a Groups post with the title:
"Ted Strickland... FAG!!!?"

Catchy, eh?

Really makes you think.... that the author of the post has something to hide.

Just because it was posted to the group rec.sport.pro-wrestling
by a guy named Long Rod Silver
who typically ends his messages with phrases like: "suck my ball sack"?

That doesn't say anything about Long Rod, does it?

Just because he has an email address at your-tonsils.net?

What could THAT possibly mean?

Anyway, here is the original text of the message.

Ted Strickland... FAG!!!?

From: Long Rod Silver - view profile
Date: Wed, Oct 18 2006 7:52 pm
Email: Long Rod Silver
Groups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling

Note: The author of this message requested that it not be archived. This message will be removed from Groups in 6 days (Oct 25, 7:52 pm).

Bill Cunningham on Ted Strickland and pedophiles and gay lovers
Submitted by jamesrhodes on October 12, 2006 - 4:59pm. general
This is today's complete show from Bill Cunningham on 700 WLW in
Cincinnati. Bill spends 3 hours covering the story that the MSM
doesn't want to run, because it hurts the candidate they support.

Hour 1
Who is the real Ted Strickland?? Willie finally finds out.

Hour 2
Who is more important, Mark Foley or finding out the REAL Ted
Strickland?

Hour 3
Willie gets your reaction to todays events..++++

Sexual rumors swirl in Buckeye State

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted: October 14, 2006
1:00 a.m. Eastern

Ohio attorney Scott A. Pullins runs a blog, the Pullins Report, which
has relentlessly pursued Rep. Ted Strickland, D-Ohio, the Democratic
Party gubernatorial candidate for 2006 in Ohio. Pullins has been
fearless in exploring charges that Strickland is a closet homosexual
and supports the LGBT agenda.

"We started following Strickland in the primary," Pullins, who
practices law in Vernon, Ohio, near Columbus, told WND. "We especially
picked up on the issue after Brian Flannery, his Democratic Party
challenger in the primary, began hammering Strickland on sexual
issues."

A Father's Day newspaper article in the Toledo Blade, published June
19, piqued Pullins interest. The story noted Flannery "criticized Mr.
Strickland for vacationing in Italy with a male political 'protégé'
who had been convicted of indecent exposure."

Flannery, according to the paper, had put out a press release
stressing he and his running mate both have children, thereby calling
attention to Strickland's childless marriage.

Jim Tankersley, the Blade's politics writer, suggested Strickland was
defensive that his family was not a traditional one. Strickland
countered that children have filled his life, pointing out the
children of his best friend, a doctor in Florida, call him "Uncle
Ted."

Pullins said the Blade article caused him to look deeper.

"Ted and Frances had dated for several years, and Ted did not want to
get married," Pullins said. "But finally, when they were both over 40,
they decided to get married at a time when Ted was running for office.
Typically, politicians marry young, they have two or three children,
and they smile for the pictures. I found it strange that Strickland
was a driven politician, but he waited until he was 46 before getting
married, and they never had children."

Pullins commented on the Blade article in a June 19 post on his blog
titled "Article Adds Fire to Strickland Gay Rumors" in which he said
the story "adds fuel to the fire" of Strickland's votes in Congress
that suggest "he is soft on those that sexually assault our children."
"The stories imply that the Stricklands are both gay and lead separate
lives, Frances in Kentucky and Ted in Ohio and D.C."

'Are you gay or not?'

An Ohio television commentator, hosting a political issues program,
brought up Pullins blog reports and apologetically posed the "gay
question" to Strickland.

"I just put it out there once and for all and shut everybody up about
this … are you gay or not?"

The congressman did not give a direct answer, however.

"Let me tell you this, John, I've been married almost 20 years, I am
deeply in love with my wife, and I believe that she is deeply in love
with me," Strickland said. "I have been faithful to my wife and I
deeply believe she has been faithful to me."

[A video clip of Strickland's answer is available online.]

Strickland continued: "These blogs are really mean-spirited, smear
efforts. This fellow that you mentioned, I won't use his name, but he
continually puts out information that is absolutely wrong and false."

Strickland gave an example of an allegedly false report by Pullins,
but it had nothing to do with any issue related to homosexuality.

Pullins insisted he doesn't "give a hoot about how the Stricklands
live their private lives."

"But what I do find interesting," he said, "is the whisper campaign
that has been going on behind the scenes for months and the efforts by
liberals and some conservatives to shut down any discussion of the
issue."

Ohio newspapers and bloggers created a firestorm over the story.
According to Pullins, the Stricklands do not own a home in Washington,
D.C., or in their Ohio congressional district. They rent an apartment
in the nation's capital and own a small condo in Columbus, Ohio.
Frances Smith is Frances Strickland's maiden name, which she uses for
her published works, including a children's book titled "The Little
Girl Who Grew Up to be Governor: Stories from the Life of Martha Layne
Collins." Collins was governor of Kentucky from 1983 to 1987.

Pullins also has noted that Frances Strickland is listed on public
records as the president and director of a consulting corporation
named "Smith Educational Enterprises," a Kentucky corporation.

Smith is listed on public documents with the Kentucky secretary of
state as the registered agent for the company. But there is a problem
here for the Stricklands – to be a registered agent for a corporation
or other business entity in Kentucky, you must be an individual
resident of Kentucky or be a business entity that is located in the
state. Smith Educational Enterprises is not registered to do business
in Ohio.

In a video posted on YouTube.com, Frances Strickland sings a folksy
version of her husband's biography, emphasizing his humble roots, all
to the tune of "Davy Crockett."

For pursuing this story, Pullins has been soundly attacked by Ohio's
liberal bloggers. A blogger self-identified as "Pho" from Akron
described Pullins as an "arch-conservative blogger and all-around
douchebag," but he finally reconsidered, admitting "I don't really
know that Pullins is a douchebag." MLM Liberal, another Ohio blog,
accused Pullins of "Swift Boating" Strickland and his wife.

Conservative Ohio bloggers generally have been supportive of Pullins.
BizzyBlog, for example, ran a detailed analysis of Ted Strickland's
1999 "Present" vote on House Concurrent Resolution 107, an
overwhelmingly bipartisan vote that condemned the American
Psychological Association for publishing an article that argued sex
between adults and minor children could be beneficial to the child.

Pullins told WND that while "the rumors in Ohio have swirled for a
number of years that Strickland is gay," to date "nothing has been
proven conclusively."

"Personally, I don't really care if Strickland is gay," Pullins said.
"But I don't want to see him as governor of Ohio in the same situation
McGreevey faced in New Jersey."

James McGreevey resigned in August 2004, admitting he had been living
a secret homosexual lifestyle. His resignation was prompted by a
sexual harassment suit filed against him by a former security aide
Golan Cipel."

In reference to Strickland's 1999 vote on HCR 107, Pullins insisted
that the "Foley problems" needed to be explored:

"There are legitimate issues here. Is Strickland as governor going to
surround himself with those individuals who prey on children? Is he
going to surround his administration with those type of people? The
voters in Ohio deserve answers to these questions."

Pullins also says there are unanswered questions about the staff
member with whom Strickland traveled to Europe.

"We don't even know who this guy was, even though Strickland admits
taking him on a private vacation to Italy," the attorney said. "The
records are sealed, and we don't have any idea who this guy is. His
name, address and photograph should be up on a website warning people
about this predator. Why does Strickland continue to hide the man's
identity?"

Blog Post Calls Naugle's Intelligence Into Question

2006-10-18T18:55:00.000-04:00

The Blackwell blog has been pushing this stupid story about a former Strickland staffer using expunged police records as proof.

Anyway, the guy's lawyer sent Ken Blackwell a cease and desist letter.

As a result, Matt Naugle, official blogger for the Blackwell campaign, went through and removed the guy's name from the Blackwell website.

He then adds a new post with a link to the cease and desist letter WHICH CONTAINS THE GUYS NAME.

WBNS-10TV and ONN Screwed Me

2006-10-16T21:04:00.000-04:00

One minute to go until the last Strickland/Blackwell debate ends- and I didn't see any of it.

According to their press release:

WBNS-10TV and ONN will partner to enable local and statewide viewers to see a final face-off between gubernatorial candidates Ted Strickland and Ken Blackwell. WBNS-10TV will host the hour-long "Campaign 2006: Gubernatorial Debate," which will air live on both stations Monday, October 16 at 8pm.

They did not, however, provide any way for me to see or hear the debate from outside the state.

And, from what I can tell, I will have to wait until Friday when I get home to watch it on my Tivo.

Does anyone know if this will be available online anytime in the next few days?

Thank You New Salem Missionary Baptist Church

2006-10-15T00:41:00.000-04:00

Fortunately I saw this sign right as I was planning to cut through a gas station to avoid a red light.

Fortunately this sign saved me before I had time to disgrace myself in the eyes of our traffic monitoring God.

I wanted to say that I am so, so, SO thankful to the New Salem Missionary Baptist Church for putting up this sign and warning me that God him/herself was monitoring this particular intersection.

God DAMN that was close.

More About the Ice

2006-10-14T23:18:00.000-04:00

My front lawn after the ice storm.

A close-up shot of the actual ice that fell from the sky.

Ice Storms for Blackwell

2006-10-14T22:36:00.000-04:00

Monday is the fourth and final debate between Ted Strickland and Ken Blackwell.

I must admit- I was a little worried about the last one... primarily because a horrible ice storm trapped me in my car just as the debate was supposed to start.

I took these with my phone- proof that I wasn't just sitting at the bar when I supposed to be at home acting interested in state politics.

No One Is Free UNLESS Others Are Oppressed

2006-10-14T02:30:00.000-04:00

I'm sure the car's owner is a very good person.

And I hate to contradict a community college faculty member- especially over something so small as a phrase written on a bumper sticker.

However, this bumper sticker makes no sense.

The whole CONCEPT of freedom exists only BECAUSE oppression exists.

There can be no Light without Dark, Warm without Cold or, unfortunately, Freedom without Oppression.

I'm a God Luvr. Love that God!!!

2006-10-14T02:18:00.000-04:00

I saw this license plate on a car as I was leaving the airport last night.

I'm guessing it belongs to the person who posted this very informative response to the message:

COULD OF JESUS REALLY STAND ON THE CROSS?

Have you experienced an angel dream, or experienced stigmata? Or has someone close to you experienced it? I know it is possible for God to let some SEE what Jesus went through, and I'm very interested in talking about what you experienced. :D I'm a God Luvr. Love that God!!! Love and BIG MONKEY HUGS!!!

I'm sure BGMNKYHGS was already taken. I am even more sure that God Luvr was very angry when he/she was told that it was not possible to include three exclamation points on their license plate.

Happy Trails Two

2006-10-09T20:18:00.001-04:00

Funny, funny stuff...

Straight from horse's mouth.

Jesus (re)Named Me Hope

2006-10-08T21:29:00.000-04:00

We are not able to fulfill your request for tickets to “The Daily Show”

2006-10-05T12:53:00.001-04:00

The Daily Show comes to Columbus a week before the election...

was anyone able to get tickets?

------------------------------------------------------
Date: Thu, 5 Oct 2006 12:26:16 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: RE: please please please
From: osutickets@thedailyshow.com
To: me@aberrantequation.com

Unfortunately due to an overwhelming response, we are not able to fulfill your request for tickets to “The Daily Show” from the Roy Bowen Theatre at The Ohio State University.

If you are a current student at OSU, perhaps you can get a ticket for the event to be held at The Jerome Schottenstein Center on Saturday, October 28th at 9:30pm. Here is the link for more information on this event:

http://ouab.osu.edu/jonstewart.aspx

We are not able to fulfill your request for tickets to “The Daily Show”

2006-10-05T12:53:00.000-04:00

You're No Roy Rogers

2006-10-04T19:44:00.000-04:00

Watching the Ohio Gubernatorial debate...

Ken Blackwell just told Ted: "I knew Roy Rogers- and you're no Roy Rogers".

Which seems like a weird thing to say- until you realize that Ted Strickland grew up on the same street as Roy Rogers (Duck Run- near Lucasville, Ohio)

Wow!

Ohio's next governor on the same street as the founder of an overpriced, build-your-own hamburger chain!

The SAME STREET!

I have very vivid childhood memories of traveling Ohio and Pennsylvania's highways, begging my parents to stop at the next exit so we could eat at Roy Rogers.

Recently returning to Ohio- I was shocked to find all of the Roy Rogers restaurants replaced by Sbarro and Starbucks.

Sure- the Strickland-and-Rogers-growing-up-on-the-same-street thing was a little more suprising...

But neither was nearly as shocking as the information I am about to reveal.

Hold on to your cowboy hat parters, 'cause this is big.

Ready?

The Roy Rogers restaurant chain is actually named after a famous cowboy actor from the 50's!

No- seriously. That's his picture there- just in case you don't believe me.

He sang that "happy traaaaaaails, to you..." song- AND he had a horse that could count!

And I'm sure you are thinking the same thing as me:

What about Kenny Rogers Roasters...

Wasn't THAT the first restaurant chain named after a famous cowboy actor?!

Nope.

Wow.

Wow.

uh...

Wow.

I completely forgot that I was actually trying to write a blog post about something stupid that Ken Blackwell said during the debate.

Where the hell is my frackin' "Video Message"?

2006-10-04T01:49:00.000-04:00

I got another email from Ken today.

This one reminds me to vote...

for Ken Blackwell, of course.

The text is below.

But the funny part is the picture and the video that it claims to link to.

This is where it actually links: http://www.kenblackwell.com/News/Read.aspx?ID=488

No video.

-----------------------------------
text of email
-----------------------------------

Early Voting Starts Today!

Starting Today (October 3rd)You Can Vote for Ken Blackwell
Good news! Because of recent changes in election law, you no longer have to give an excuse to vote absentee. This means you can vote, at your convenience, any time between today and election day (November 7).
To make sure you receive your absentee ballot, please fill out this request form and mail it to your local board of election's office . The address for your county's board of elections is available here . If you wish to vote this way, please apply for an absentee ballot as soon as you can.Or, if you wish to vote absentee in person, you may visit your county's board of election's office and vote anytime between today and election day.
For more information about absentee voting, please click here to visit the Ohio Secretary of State's website .
We hope you take advantage of this new law, which allows you to vote at your convenience. And remember to vote for Ken Blackwell and his tax-cutting job-creating agenda.

Muslim March Proves The Craziest Guy Gets on TV

2006-10-02T15:57:00.000-04:00

All of the news coverage of this very peaceful march focused almost exclusively on this one crazy guy in a blue shirt jumping up and down and yelling.

As a result, it was labeled a "violent Muslim protest" in response to a comment by the Pope that some say implied Muslims are violent.

Muslim March Proves Pope Correct

2006-10-02T15:35:00.000-04:00

A comment by the Pope that some say implied Muslims are violent sparked this violent Muslim protest.

MoveOn.org = Marxists ?

2006-10-02T14:53:00.000-04:00

<-- I just saw this online ad...

MoveOn.org: an American, progressive political organization founded and funded by rich, silicon-valley entrepreneurs.

Marxism: the official philosophy in the Soviet Union,

Scott Pullins fills your unanswered needs

2006-09-29T13:17:00.000-04:00

Because Mount Vernon can never have too many Web Services companies...

On Sept. 10, Pullins Web Services opened up at 110 E. Gambier St. It offers affordable, do-it-yourself Web sites, custom Web sites, online marketing, blog design and domain registrations. According to owner Scott Pullins of Pullins Group LLC, the purpose of Pullins Web Services is to fill an unanswered need for inexpensive, professionally designed Web sites.

Meet Republican Singles

2006-09-27T09:22:00.000-04:00

Cincinnati has been called one of the most conservative places in the country.

The Enquirer does know their audience.

I saw this advertisement on their website this morning...

Meet 1000's of "Beautiful Republican Singles"!

How could I NOT click?

Nothing too suprising here, though.

Just lots of pictures of attractive, young, straight white people.

oh- in case you wondered...

There is also a DemocraticPeopleMeet site- with the same pictures of the same attractive, young, straight white people.

Fatwa Friday- with free rubber swords for the kiddies

2006-09-25T17:41:00.000-04:00

An Ohio car dealer thinks the 'war on terror' is more than just an election-year slogan to reelect republicans- it is also a great way to sell cars!

From a recent Dispatch article:

In the spot, Keith Dennis of Dennis Mitsubishi talks about "launching a jihad on the automotive market."

Sales representatives "will be wearing burqas all weekend long," the ad says. One of the vehicles on sale "can comfortably seat up to 12 jihadists in the back."

"Our prices are lower than the evildoers’ every day. Just ask the pope! " the ad says. "Friday is fatwa Friday, with free rubber swords for the kiddies."

Blackwell and Towelie

2006-09-20T23:30:00.000-04:00

Listen to this exchange from today's Strickland/Blackwell debate. It went like this:

Strickland: And I reiterate the fact that his math is quite fuzzy. It does not add up.

Moderator:: Mr. Blackwell, you have 30 seconds to respond

Blackwell: Mr. Strickland … is a man without a plan.
And his… his… uh….
HIS math doesn't add up.

Nice one Ken.

Your stuttering response sounds amazingly similar to Towelie ( the pot-smoking Towel from South Park)…

Cartman: I can preach to you all I want 'cause you're stupid!

Towelie: You're stupid!

Cartman: Yeah, you're a towel!

Towelie: You're a towel!

Misspellin' Ken Ackwell

2006-09-18T21:09:00.000-04:00

The second debate between the candidates for Ohio's next governor is in two days.

The topic: Education.

But, before Ken goes about trying to solve the education problems of the whole state- he might want to try fixin' things a little closer to home...

like learning how to spell his opponent's name.

With the Internet- All Things Are Possible

2006-09-18T19:09:00.000-04:00

I can't believe this guy is still trying to sell his domain name for $250K!

http://www.withvotesallthingsarepossible.com/

The 2006 Ohio Governor's race is sure to be politically charged. Ken Blackwell and Ted Strickland are fighting it out in this extremely important race for Ohio and the nation. This domain name could be the difference between winning and losing this historic race.

The domain name is available for purchase for $250,000.00 or lease thru 12/31/2006 for a negotiable price.

For futher information, please contact:
Michael Troper
85 Highland Ave.
Worthington, Ohio 43085
mtroper@wowway.com

Scott Pullings: Entrepreneur & Consumer Advocate

2006-09-16T03:11:00.000-04:00

Scott Pullins, everyone's favorite chubby, bald, insecure Ohio lawyer, has a BRAND SPANKIN' NEW Pullins Report website.

The first post on his new site is titled "Stupid Strickland Photos", and it features a photo of Ted and a cute little baby.

At the top of the page is a photo of scott pullins trying to remember how to find all the people inside the church- and the steeple....

One of these e-coli symptoms is not like the others

2006-09-14T20:35:00.000-04:00

Which of the following symptoms is NOT associated with e. coli:

A. Bloody diarrhea
B. Vomiting
C. Fever
D. Severe abdominal cramps
E. Tiredness
F. None of the above

According to CNN- the answer is F. None of the above.

However, if you answered E- then you get two extra credit points for not calling your doctor every afternoon about 2:30 pm...

No, Dr. Dave, this time I REALLY think I have it!

No- no- no bloody diarrhea yet- but I'm really, really tired....

Democrats for DeWine?

2006-09-14T20:15:00.000-04:00

There is a somewhat interesting article in the Other Paper today: Coleman hasn’t made a sound in favor of Brown.

The article speculates that an " icy relationship was formed in the early days of the governor’s race" between Columbus Mayor Mike Coleman and Democratic U.S. Senate nominee Sherrod Brown. Like I said- "somewhat" interesting...

But the article redeems itself near the end when they quote Coleman.

Asked about his conversations with Brown, Coleman replies: “Those have been between he and I, and they’ll stay that way."

If you don't find that that funny now... it will probably be even less funny if I explain the rules of personal pronouns

Interpretive dancing Karaoke Mimes for Christ

2006-09-09T22:27:00.000-04:00

"You gotta see this" screamed my girlfriend from the bedroom.

When I didn't show up immediately, she called again: "Get in here!"

I slowly walked in to the room...

"What is so impor- HAHAHAHAHA!"

This is what was on.

Flipping through channels, she came across this really funny religious mime/dance thing.

It turns out to be part of a really long late-night infomercial for some CDs of a really boring and none-too-bright preacher woman who likes to read very slowly from the bible.

AP Wire | 09/07/2006 | Highlights of campaign activity

2006-09-08T00:51:00.000-04:00

Ha ha...

AP Wire 09/07/2006 Highlights of campaign activity: "Highlights of campaign activity
Associated Press
BLACKWELL LOSES COMPLAINT
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - The Ohio Elections Commission dismissed a complaint Thursday by Republican gubernatorial candidate Ken Blackwell accusing his Democratic opponent of running a false TV ad.
The 30-second spot by U.S. Rep. Ted Strickland attacks Blackwell's plan to expand health insurance to the poor, claiming Blackwell would force everyone to buy a private plan that could cost a family about $4,800 a year.
But a four-member commission panel ruled unanimously that there was not enough evidence to have the full commission look into the complaint, which was filed last week.
Carlo LoParo, a spokesman for Blackwell, said he's disappointed in the ruling.
Part of Blackwell's plan calls for setting up accounts for the uninsured that would allow them to accumulate money to buy private health coverage. The cost of a family insurance plan cited in the Strickland ad - $4,836 - is disingenuous because it ignores subsidies that he intends to make available to low-income families, Blackwell has argued.
Blackwell, Ohio's secretary of state, also denies that he would force Ohioans to purchase insurance plans they can't afford.
The ad is still airing around the state, said Strickland campaign spokesman Keith Dailey. The campaign stands by the ad, he said.

Please Support My Campaign

2006-09-08T00:18:00.000-04:00

I've been getting a lot of emails from Ken Blackwell lately.

The subject of the latest one is "Please Support My Campaign".

In it, he first promises to cut my taxes. Woo hoo!

Then, he says he needs me to give him money for his campaign.

huh?

I've seen something like this on a late-night infomercial.

Anyway- here's the full text of the letter- enjoy...

Dear Supporter,

Last week I launched my first campaign ad "Taxin Ted ." With this ad we have begun to tell the people of Ohio what my opponent Ted Strickland really believes. To view the ad click here .

My opponent is already on the air with his misleading ads. In fact we just filed an official complaint against him because he is distorting the truth.

There are only two months until Election Day. I spent Labor Day weekend on the "Road to Jobs" bus tour. I was honored to meet with so many Ohioans from every corner of the state. I plan on campaigning tirelessly across this state for the next two months, informing the voters of my plans for job creation, lower taxes, smaller and honest government, health care reform and education reform.

To do that I need your help! Please click here and give today. We need your help to win this campaign. Please give today.

Remember this campaign could very well be the most important in the country. Don't let the Democrats steal this without a fight. Please click here and contribute as generously as you can.

Thanks and God Bless,
Ken Blackwell

A Debate Worth Watching

2006-09-05T11:42:00.000-04:00

The first Strickland/Blackwell debate will start in less than an hour.

Blackwell is a tall, intimidating fellow who some expect to dominate the debates.

But Strickland has done a great job of getting the jump on Blackwell throughout the campaign- and I'd like to see him continue that in the debates.

Here is my suggestion: interrupt Blackwell during his opening remarks. It might go something like this...

Blackwell's opening remarks:
"The system is broken, we all kn-"

Strickland interupts:
"blah blah blah" (making talking gesture with his hand)
Silence in the room.

"Jesus, Kenny- do you EVER stop whining?"
A few people in the audience laugh.

"*I* think this state is AWESOME!"
Room erupts with applause.

"But all my opponent does is complain, complain, complain."
Clapping continues...

"Mr. Blackwell…. why do you hate Ohio?"
Audience boos Blackwell.

From days of long ago, from uncharted regions of the universe, comes...

2006-08-30T21:55:00.000-04:00

a voting machine.

If you liked Voltron: Defender of the Universe ( the lion one, not the crappy vehicle one), then you are going to LOVE voting in Ohio…

Activate interlock! Dynotherms connected! Infracells up! Mega thrusters are go! LET'S GO IVOLTRONIC FORCE!

If you just can't wait until- then try it out now with the online iVotronic simulator.

Voinovich and violent, drug-abusing gays

2006-08-29T00:36:00.000-04:00

I always thought George Voinovich was a pretty decent guy.

Maybe it's because he is from my home town (Cleveland) and he's half Slovenian (like me).

Maybe it's because he has, on occasion, gone against the Bush administration, voting against Bolton and Bush's retarded tax cuts and earning him the label of "disloyal" by conservative activists.

Then I saw this letter; a response to a question about his vote on the "Marriage Protection Amendment".

I can forgive the guy for sending out a form letter containing the party's talking points- especially on some in-the-news issue like same-sex marriage.

But this one goes too far.

The first paragraph starts off as expected: "I support the traditional definition of marriage, and I believe it should be protected"

Standard republican message. Nothing too crazy.

The second paragraph, however, just jumps right off the edge of sane-town…

"In a world where images and descriptions of violence, sex, and drugs permeate our culture, must do all that we can to provide them"

How did we go from "I support traditional marriage" to "Gay people are violent drug-abusers that are a danger to our children"???

I tried to read the rest of the letter but I couldn't get past that part.

It's unbelievable, really.

And I can't get it out of my head.

I'll have to postpone my clever closing. Instead, I'll leave you with two facts.

1. The annual Cleveland Gay Pride Festival is held at Voinovich Bicentennial Park

2. In a study titled The Potential Budgetary Impact of Recognizing Same-Sex Marriages, the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) estimates that recognizing same-sex marriages in all 50 states "would improve the budget's bottom line", adding as much as $1 Billion a year over the next ten years.

A quick note to the person who changed Ken's Wikipedia entry

2006-08-26T14:28:00.000-04:00

Let me start by saying: I'm sure your heart was in the right place.

But PLEASE give me a call the next time you are thinking about doing something like this.

I PROMISE you I can find something better to say than Ken Blackwell "currently serves as the dictorial Republican idiot to George W. Bush."

If nothing else- I will tell you that "dictorial" isn't a word. And that you were probably trying to say "dictAtorial" ("of or pertaining to a dictator or dictatorship")- which IS a word, but really not that funny.

What about Dick-datorial? That would have gotten a chuckle, at least.

The other, more important thing I will say is: try to be a little more subtle.

If, for no other reason than your change will take much longer to get noticed. Also, it will probably be much funnier.

For example...

I heard he has a large collection of antique teapots and he really loves opera.
I heard his kids middle names are all from the muppets.
I heard there was an article from his college newspaper listing him as one of the students caught molesting a sheep.

Gay-hating misogynist to lead Blackwell's Campaign in Cincinnati

2006-08-24T16:24:00.000-04:00

Charlie Winburn is going to lead Blackwell's campaign in Hamilton County-

From his picture, you would think that he was a pretty sane and reasonable guy.

But no one like that works on Ken's campaign- and this guy is no exception.

Cinci black bloggers have called him a fool and claim that he "used drugs and eventually left his first wife" and "preached intolerance against gays".

What a surprise! A crazy, conservative, gay-hating preacher working on the Blackwell campaign.

Anyway, he is also:

A Former City Council Member and a failed Republican mayoral candidate in Cincinnati

Pastor of the Ridge Acres Christian Center and founder of "Encampment", a biblical training camp in Cincinnati.

Author of Releasing the Money Anointing- a self-help book that teaches the reader how to get money from God.

Author of "Ruling and Reigning in the '90s" in which he claims that it is the job of Christians to "elect only born-again Christians to public office". He also writes that a wife "must be taught what her boundaries are".

MEET "THE BLACKWELL'S"

2006-08-22T18:36:00.000-04:00

I received the following comment on my recent post about Matt Naugle:

you're kind of mean. Remember, until about three months ago he was a student at OSU… Hiring a college student probably just shows they place a low value on blogging (which is evident if you see how ineffective it has been for them).

I couldn't have said it any better myself.

And, just in case you needed further proof…

In his post about the crap Ken did last weekend, the official blogger for the Blackwell campaign shows off his OSU education with 6 apostrophe errors in two paragraphs. (the errors are in bold- and described at the end)

THE BLACKWELL'S (1) TOUR DARKE COUNTY FAIR
On Sunday, Ken and Rosa Blackwell toured the Darke County Fair in Greenville. The Blackwell's (2) began their tour at the Darke County Republican booth, speaking to 30 campaign supporters and then toured the cattle barn, sheep barn, swine barn, rabbit barn, Darke County veteran’s (3) booth, and the Coliseum where Secretary Blackwell signed the Ohio Right to Life petition.

THE BLACKWELL'S (4) ATTEND MIAMI COUNTY GOP PICNIC
Sunday evening, Ken and Rosa Blackwell joined 120 Miami County Republicans at the Miami County Republican Picnic in West Milton. Later, the Blackwell's (5) stopped by the Troy Mayors’ (6) Concert in downtown Troy.

Sure, these are all common errors. And one- hell, even two- could slip by without comment. But six stupid errors? In two paragraphs? Unbelievable.

Ok, so maybe now I AM being mean.

---------------------------------------------------------------
1, 2, 4, 5 – The apostrophe makes it possessive. For example: Blackwell's Retarded Blogger.

3 – Man, I'd sure like to meet the one veteran from Darke County. They even gave him his own booth!

6 – How many Mayors does Troy have?

Stem Cell Issue Divides Republicans

2006-08-22T13:37:00.000-04:00

If you want to know if the politicians from your state are sucking on the tit of the evangelical christians, then ask them about stem cell research.

Tell them that China is going to be the world leader in stem cell research.

Tell them that a federal grant for stem cell research will bring a bunch of job-creating, economy-boosting, FREE federal money home to your state.

If they tell you it is immoral- then you know where their loyalties fall. And you know who to vote OUT OF OFFICE this year.

Any politician that puts aside national pride, the economy AND the promise of pork has been lured over to the dark side.

I predict THIS will be THE issue, stem cell research, to will finally bring the republicans to their senses.

We saw it recently on a national level when the Republican president vetoed the Cell Research Enhancement Act- a bill supported by 51 house republicans.

And we are seeing it now in Ohio.

Ken Blackwell recently commented that embryonic stem cell research is the "harvesting human life in the name of research".

I guess he didn't get the memo.

Deborah Pryce did. In a recent television ad, she says that "modern science is at the cusp of finding cures and stem cell research is a huge part of this."

This makes her independent, says the ad. Some may call her immoral or disloyal.

I just think it means that she isn't totally retarded.

Anyway- for a guy who wants to be the "black Ronald Reagan", he might want to start listening to the former president's wife and son on this issue.

Or else he might end up being known as the guy who wouldn't fund research that could have saved Ronald Reagan- making him very unpopular at republican parties.

Independent Pryce

2006-08-21T15:03:00.000-04:00

In a recent television ad, Deborah Pryce claims she "stood up to her own party" when she voted for embryonic stem cell research.

That's one way of looking at it, I suppose. The ad, however, seems to be missing a lot of important information…

For example, she never says which "party" she belongs to. I wonder, is "Republican" the new "Liberal" in Ohio politics?

Also, she doesn't mention that 51 other Republicans also voted FOR the bill because everyone knew the president planned to veto the bill (which he did) and they couldn't override the veto (which they couldn't).

More importantly, the ad fails to mention all of the times that she DID toe the party line. I will go out on a limb here and guess that NONE of her ads will ever reveal that Rep. Pryce voted to:

Reject a timetable for the withdrawal of U.S. troops
Extend the Bush tax cuts
Cut nearly $40 billion in welfare, child support and student lending programs.
Give political appointees more power to make decisions about endangered species
Offer tax breaks and incentives to energy companies
Establish a free trade zone between the United States, Costa Rica, El Salvador, Gautemala,
Honduras and Nicaragua
Give federal courts jurisdiction in the Terri Schiavo dispute.

We also probably won't hear that, out of the 32 house members with the astrological sign Leo (Deb was born July 29th), she was one of 19 that voted for the stem cell bill- along with Ted Strickland (also a Leo). And that Marilyn Quayle, Peter Jennings and Benito Mussolini were also born on July 29th.

Voting While Intoxicated

2006-08-20T12:02:00.000-04:00

I happened to be in Salt Lake City during Utah's recent primary election and I was informed that I could only order a "regular" beer.

That's because Utah forbids liquor and hard beer (over 3.2% alcohol) sales until after the polls close.

Interesting.

Maybe if other states had a similiar law, the last presidential election may have gone much differently.

The War Comes Home to Ohio

2006-08-19T15:26:00.000-04:00

By September, Congress will have spent over $318.5 billion on Bush's poorly-planned war in Iraq.

According to a recent Reuters article, that money "has done little to help ordinary Iraqis". The Iraqi economy is in "deep trouble" and "inflation has soared since the 2003 invasion, sapping the living standards of Iraqis".

But we aren't finished yet.

If we continue to stay this retarded course, we will need to find an additional $50 billion to complete the reconstruction along with another $1 billion a year to maintain it.

But the war hasn't just made life worse for Iraqis.

The war will cost Ohio taxpayers $11.2 BILLION. That's money that could have been used for to address issues important to Ohioans such as crime, jobs, healthcare and education.

For example, Ohio could have used that money to:

Hire 258,619 Public Safety Officers
Hire 227,647 Port Container Inspectors
Provide Health Care for 5,995,436 children
Give Scholarships to 1,679,651 University Students
Build 1,257 New Elementary Schools

Wow! They really DO look a lot alike.

2006-08-16T19:26:00.000-04:00

Sometime today Ken Blackwell's blog decided to remove a post from the 14th comparing Ted Strickland to Fidel Castro. I have included a screen shot of the original post below.

So...

I started thinking about all of the people Ken Blackwell reminds me of.

Gaddafi / Saddam

Mao

OJ

Pol Pot

Kim Jong Il

and of course, Hitler.

Oh- and one for the other side:
Bill Clinton

Blackwell and Raga Break "The Law"

2006-08-16T12:23:00.000-04:00

The Bible is long.

The 66 books that make up the Old and New Testament contain 783,137 words in 31,101 verses and 1,189 chapters.

Compare that to other “classic” (read: long) books like Tolstoy’s War and Peace (560,000 words) or Stephen King’s It (434,811 words).

That’s a lot of stuff to remember- even for devout, bible-carrying Christians like Ken Blackwell and Tom Raga.

Could this be the reason they only seem to remember that one part about homosexuality?

Leviticus 18:22: "Thou shall not lie with mankind as with womankind: it is abomination."

Ken Blackwell insists that these twelve words prove that being gay “is a transgression against God's law."

12 words. That’s roughly 0.047% of the book of Leviticus (25,500 words) and about 0.0015323% of the Bible.

And what about the other 99.9984677% of the Bible? What about the other 25,388 words in Leviticus?

For a guy that is so interested in God’s law, you would think he could find some time to read the other parts

After reading just a little bit of Leviticus, most sane individuals will realize that “God’s Laws”, as defined in Leviticus, are a little crazy-sounding and extremely out-of-date.

Jesus came to this conclusion (in Matthew 5:38-39) over 2000 years ago.

And who are you going to believe, Ken Blackwell or Jesus Christ?

Maybe Ken just hasn’t gotten to that part yet. Or maybe, he DID read it and realized that he is in violation of a whole shit-load of those laws… starting with the swine.

Leviticus 11:7-8
Swine-related warnings can be found throughout both books of the Bible. Leviticus 11:7 classifies pigs as unclean animals and 11:8 strictly forbids their consumption or contact with their remains.

Blackwell and Raga's recent pork-filled visit to the Ohio State Fair was a clear violation of this law.

While Tom Raga was busy eating a big plate of pork ribs, Ken was giving a speech at the hog exhibition during which he promised “to double the state's pork production by 2025.”

Leviticus 21:16-23
In this law, anyone with a disease or a handicap is forbidden from attending church- this includes people with eye problems.

Ken Blackwell, wearing his usual eyeglasses, is shown here with Russell Johnson at Fairfield Christian Church in Lancaster. ( One could also argue that he is breaking the fourth commandment by working on a Sunday )

Leviticus 20:27
A short-haired, clean-shaven Ken Blackwell has, without question, broken this law, which states: "You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard.” (And he is still wearing those glasses)

Leviticus 25:35
Instead of helping the poor, as instructed by this law, Blackwell calls for an end to welfare in his book Rebuilding America.

Back in Black

2006-08-15T20:02:00.000-04:00

Following the highly successful interview with Ohio's Pork Queen, KBTV** has released a powerful and very informative video of interviews with interns and staff who, by the way, just happen to be black.

Did they go to all of this trouble just because I, on multiple occasions, poked a little fun at Ken's all white and mostly male campaign staff?

I'd like to think so.

More than likely, it's the work of LeBron's old publicist and her plan to win over some of Ohio's black voters.

** KBTV: "Ken's Boring me with These Videos" or maybe "Ken's Blog's Terrible Videos"?

Bigger Tents

2006-08-14T15:13:00.000-04:00

Ken Mehlmon was in Ohio last week insisting that Ned Lamont’s primary win over Joe Leiberman proves that “defeatism and isolationism are now Democratic Party orthodoxy.”

The GOP, he claims, is “a big-tent party, where independent voices like Mike DeWine, Ken Blackwell and George Voinovich are welcomed.”

Oh yes, I forgot. The Republicans all get along and agree on everything. Especially these three guys…

Remember the love in Ken Blackwell’s TV ads during this year’s primary election for Ohio Governor? You know- the ones where he trashes his opponent (Petro) AND the current Republican governor (Taft), accusing Petro of having "ethics worse than Taft’s."

Oh- and let’s not forget the negative ads run by the Club for Growth ** against Voinovich and other Republican Senators who didn’t jump on Bush’s tax-cutting bandwagon.

Even Dewine is forced to take sides sometimes…

BLITZER: Do you believe, Senator DeWine, that George W. Bush has run an honorable campaign?

SEN. MIKE DEWINE (R), OHIO: You know, Wolf, we're going to have to go forward after this election with one of these two candidates, and I just tell you that one of the things I have found, constituents yesterday when I was going door to door in Canton, Ohio found irritating, and that is the fact that this Texas billionaire put $2 million into this race, and a lot of that has shown up in the state of Ohio. And I think people think that's just not right.
(from CNN Late Edition, March 5, 2000)

Ladies and Gentlemen...
Welcome to the NEW Republican Party
Now with a NEW, Bigger Tent

** Wikipedia : “In 2004, the Club for Growth caused a stir within the Republican Party by endorsing and heavily supporting U.S. Representative Pat Toomey, who challenged incumbent Senator Arlen Specter in the Republican primary in Pennsylvania. The organization was reported to have collected contributions totaling $800,000 for Toomey. It also spent $1 million on its own independent television advertising campaign on Toomey's behalf. Despite this overwhelming support, Toomey lost the race, and then proceeded to take his current position of president of the Club for Growth.”

Who Moved My Cheese?

2006-08-11T22:53:00.000-04:00

Note: This is the first in a series of posts based on the photos I took today at the Ohio State Fair.

The first thing you see when you walk in to the "Nationwide Ag. and Hort. Building" is this map of Ohio.

It drew my attention because I saw something very similar in my parent's attic the last time I was home. MY map represented Ohio's Native American burial sites in salt dough. It was, if I remember correctly, created for my seventh-grade Ohio Studies class.

The map at the fair was much larger than the one I created and, given that it was not made from salt dough, I assume much less prone to cracking on the long bus ride to junior high.

Also, the fair map represented the primary agricultural product of each of Ohio's 88 counties instead of indian burial grounds.

For example, there are two plastic pigs pasted inside the outline of Coshocton. Putnam has Potatoes, Mahoning has Sunflowers and Franklin has a picture of a Golf Course. (after reviewing the map’s key, I discovered that Franklin County is a big producer of sod)

I found this map quite interesting and informative and spent at least ten minutes reviewing all of the crap pasted to the big piece of cardboard. To my suprise, everyone else walked right by...

Anyway- just as I was about to walk away to get a closer look at the REALLY large tractor outside, I noticed something extremely funny stapled to Stark County: a plastic-wrapped block of Kroger swiss cheese.

If you don’t find this funny- please read my previous post about Blackwell’s swiss cheese comment.

Or, check out the video.

Democrats Lower Unemployment in Ohio

2006-08-11T10:25:00.000-04:00

Which political party has historically lowered the unemployment rate in Ohio?

Comparing yearly unemployment rates in Ohio against the party affiliation of the sitting US President and Ohio Governor reveals, without a doubt, that having a Democrat in either office is good for Ohio.

On average, having a Republican President and Governor INCREASES the unemployment rate by .97! (Ohio's unemployment rate for 2005 was 5.9%)

A Democratic President can help lower the unemployment rate by .22%- even with a Republican Governor.

But statistics show that a Democratic Governor can help lower the unemployment rate by 0.63% !

There is, unfortunatley, no data to show how having a Democrat in both offices will impact the unemployment rate in Ohio.

Let's hope we can find out in 2009.

You down with OPPC?

2006-08-10T23:59:00.000-04:00

Ken Blackwell went to the Ohio State Fair... "At the O’Neill Building, he spoke to hog farmers and the 2006 Pork Queen"....

According to the rules set forth by the Ohio Pork Producers Council: “The purpose of the queen program is to improve the image of pork and pork producers. The queen will serve as a goodwill ambassador for the Pork Industry.”

And what enlightened, insightful and relevant information did Ken share with these dedicated, pork-producing small-business owners and their newly-crowned queen?

"Most people don’t know that we lead the nation in the production of Swiss cheese."

Out-of-touch city-dwellers like Mr. Blackwell (and his speech writers) may think that all farm folk are the same. But the truth is: hog farmers couldn't give a shit about cows and their products (e.g. cheese).

So when Ken proudly declared that “one of his one top policy advisors was a former Sheep and Wool Queen", I’m sure the Pork Queen, and all of her supporters, dropped their jaws in amazement. Expecting applause, or at least a polite chuckle, Ken found his comment met only with the sad squeeling of prize-winning pigs- made audible when all of the humans in attendence fell silent- amazed by this ridiculously stupid remark.

Note to Ken’s Speech Writers: The LAST thing you want to tell a room full of HOG farmers is: I have a SHEEP industry representative as my policy advisor.

Oh- one more thing: If you are going to lie- at least get your facts straight… There IS a “Lamb and Wool” Queen, but “Sheep and Wool” have no associated crown.

Ba, Ba, Ba... Ba, Barber Board

2006-08-10T23:24:00.000-04:00

Did you know that there was an Ohio State Barber Board?

Neither did I.

According to their website:

The Board was established in 1934 to protect the public by establishing, maintaining and monitoring sanitary and professional standards in the barber industry. The Board's mission is to enforce those standards through examinations, routine inspections, investigations and disciplinary action.

The next test is 9:00 A.M. on August 28. Don't be late.

KB and the OC GOP

2006-08-10T13:10:00.000-04:00

Despite all of his talk about out-of-state campaign contributions from "the left coast", Ken Blackwell was recently in Orange County, California to attend yet another backyard fund-raising event.

Scott Baugh, chairman of the Republican Party of Orange County and well-paid, OC lobbyist, hosted the event at his Huntington Beach home.

According to Scott, Orange County is "America's Most Republican County". Not suprisingly, it is also one of America's Whitest Counties - with an African-American population of about 1.5%- and a big source of campaign contributions for Ken Blackwell.

Even though there were fewer than 40 people in attendance, Blackwell raised over $18K at the event- bringing his total OC contributions for 2006 to well over the $30K mark.

After a prayer, the pledge of allegiance and Dennis Prager's rambling culture war speech (which included numerous references to Mel Gibson), Ken proceeded to give his standard speech:

1. "I was a Football Star" story/joke - did I mention that I was Drafted by Dallas Cowboys?
2. I was mayor of Cinci - after Jerry Springer (wait for laughter to stop)
3. I was a lacky for the first Bush Administration (before I stole the election for his son)
4. I was the first African-American elected to executive office in Ohio (when I beat an African-American woman for state Treasurer)
5. I popularized and legitimized gay bashing with an ammendment to Ohio's constitution
6. MY poll numbers say that the Ohio Governor's race is really close.

But the audience didn't seem to care that this was his standard, cookie-cutter speech. And why would they? A football star that hates gay people? Now THAT'S a politician that the OC can rally behind.

Won't Get Fooled Again

2006-08-04T13:03:00.000-04:00

Ken Blackwell and his campaign staff have consistantly failed to connect with Ohio voters- especially African-Americans.

And it seems like they are honestly surprised that their extreme and divisive stance on social issues isn’t warmly received by all straight Christians.

But it’s the black voters that really have Ken’s all white campaign staff scratching their heads in amazement and asking: why don’t they support Ken- he’s one of them.

Now it seems someone on the campaign finally recognized the retardedness of their “blacks will vote for our candidate because he’s black” theory. But, instead of showing flexibility and insight by modifying their message to appeal to a different group of voters, they came up with another equally retard but much more racist theory: “blacks will vote for our candidate because we told them to”.

This new theory has spawned a new plan (Plan B) to “cut into the traditional stronghold Democrats have on the black vote”. The first step in the execution of Plan B: hire LeBron James’ publicist to “coordinate the Blackwell campaign's outreach to black voters”.

Good lord! Why would a black politician need to hire a publicist to help him reach black voters? And will it help?

Sure, given the short memory of the American electorate, it isn’t unreasonable to think that a good publicist could “help” some voters forget that Ken screwed them once in the last election.

Shame on Ken.

But after getting screwed a second time in the recent primary elections, and with Ken preparing to do it a third time in November, trying to convince voters that Ken is “one of them” is going to take a lot more work that promoting a young basketball player with exceptional talent.

Ken Blackwell is no LeBron James.

And, regardless of what the publicist says, Millionaire Ken Blackwell is nothing like the people in Cuyahoga County- Ohio’s largest county with a 28.8% African-American population and, more than likely, where Plan B will focus on winning votes.

For example, we don’t know exactly how much money Ken made last year (because he won’t release his tax records) but we can assume he probably took home a hell of a lot more than $39,440- the median household income in Cuyahoga Country.

How else could he afford his house in Columbus AND his 7 room condo in Cincinnatti valued at $550,000 when the average Cuyahoga County home is worth only $113,800?

Plan B is going to backfire revealing Ken Blackwell as the opportunistic shit he really he. Cuyahoga County voters will reject him in an ironic twist of fate (and words): "Fool me twice--won't get fooled again!"

Rumors and the Other Running Mates

2006-08-03T15:41:00.000-04:00

Speaking of rumors involving the wives of politicians...

Did anyone else hear about Laura Bush filming a TV ad for Benetton?

Pullins is Full of Crap

2006-08-02T15:59:00.000-04:00

Scott Pullins, through his blog the Pullins Report, claims to provide "Comprehensive, Insider Commentary on Ohio Political and Consumer Issues".

Today's post, unoriginally titled Outing the Stricklands, attempts to give some teeth to the rumors included in Gary Landford's nasty email personally attacking Ted and Frances Strickland.

In short- Gary sent an email to a bunch of religous folks in Ohio claiming that the Sticklands were gay because they didn't live together. It turns out that this wasn't true- and Gary was fired by the OHIO GOP for being a twit (i.e. getting caught).

So along comes big ol' Scott Pullins and his "evidence". Trust me when I say: all of his conclusions are incorrect and most of his facts are wrong.

I'm not going to waste my (or your) time going through each one. Instead, I'll just disprove the one that Scott calls "the real kicker". He claims that Frances Strickland "certified to an agency of the State of Kentucky that she is a resident of that state."

Which agency is that, Scott?

According to the company's annual report- she lives in Columbus, OH.

[click for complete image]

So much for Comprehensive Insider Commentary.

Blackwell's New Math

2006-08-01T17:28:00.000-04:00

You can't compare the results of two different polls.

But that's exactly what the most recent press release from the Blackwell campaign does.

Here is their logic:

1. Last week's Dispatch poll showed Ken down by 20 points.
2. Today's Rasmussen poll only shows Ken down by 11 points.
3. Therefore Ken has gained 9 points in "the polls".

This certainly is a misrepresentation of the facts- if not a straight up lie.

The truth is, Blackwell has actually gained 2 points since the last Rasmussen poll in June- and three points since the poll in May.

Results from the last three Rasmussen polls (Strickland to Blackwell)

May 18, 2006 : 52% to 36%
June 27, 2006 : 50% to 37%
August 1, 2006 : 50% to 39%

Blackwell Lies about Endorsements

2006-08-01T11:35:00.000-04:00

You won't find anything too suprising on Ken Blackwell's endorsements page.

He got endorsements from his own party and from a bunch of out-of-work, right-wing nuts like Zell Miller and JC Watts.

And, of course, he has received endorsements (and a lot of money) from all of the usual partisan organizations like Ohioans for Concealed Carry and the Republican National Coalition for Life.

He did not, however, receive an endorsement from the Buckeye Firearms Association- even though it is included in the list.

Buckeye has not made an endorsement in this race saying "both Ken Blackwell and Ted Strickland are good on our issues."

Ken Blackwell's website includes incorrect information?

Like I said: nothing suprising.

Blackwell Campaign Staff -- Part I: Michael Hernon

2006-07-30T23:33:00.000-04:00

MICHAEL HERNON
J. Kenneth Blackwell's Campaign Manager

3812 Bristol Ave
Steubenville, OH 43952
740-346-0646
councilman@michaelhernon.com

HISTORY

2000 to 2002
Director of Catholic outreach at the Republican National Committee

2002
Attends White House Christmas Party (December)

2003
Started website catholicjustwar.org focused on convincing Catholics that the upcoming invasion of Iraq was justified under the Catholic just war tradition. (February - we invaded Iraq in March)

2004
Begins four year term as Steubenville Coucilman at Large (January)

Organized Franciscan students in Steubenville "to distribute voter guides to almost all the local churches" during the 2004 Presidential elections. Most of the guides were "removed later by pastors due to 'IRS issues'". (September - two months before the election)

Awarded no-bid state contracts as a consultant for the Ohio Secretary of State's (Blackwell) Office. Also, begins working as a paid member of the Blackwell campaign.

Appointed by Blackwell as one of the Secretary of State's Field Representatives for Ohio's 2004 Presidential recount.

2005
Called as a witness in at least one of the many lawsuits resulting from the 2004 elections.

Campaign Contributions by California County

2006-07-29T02:52:00.000-04:00

This is a followup post regarding the Blackwell Blog's comment that Ted Strickland raises money "from nutty California liberals"...

Strickland Contributions by California County

Blackwell Contributions by California County

Blackwell Supporter Accused of DUI

2006-07-27T17:01:00.000-04:00

You gotta love the right angle blog for ridiculous stories like this about ruthless Lucasville cops that pull over and ticket innocent (and possibly drunken) drivers simply for displaying a Ken Blackwell bumpersticker.

Pay attention to this story, folks- it's about ready to rock the campaign:

Strickland-Supporting Cops Caught in DWB (Driving With a Blackwell sticker) Scandal!