X-Screamly Boring

The Stratosphere is tall. It’s the tallest thing west of the mississippi, actually. In any other town- this building would be the main attraction. A skyline defining, supertower- with a rotating restaurant on top.

But Vegas expects more from its buildings.

The original designers of the Stratosphere knew this. That’s why they included plans for a big ape that would carry riders up the side of the structure. The ape ride was never built. Instead, some genius decided on a giant teeter-totter.

Big ape or giant teeter-totter? hmmm….

Any kid will tell you: teeter-totters are boring. Even a really big one, painted bright green and perched on top of the tallest building in the neighborhood. Even if you give it an exciting name like X-Scream and charge tourists $8 to ride it. It’s still a teeter-totter- not a giant ape.

Bored: Some guy named David on the X-Scream and a giraffe on a teeter-totter.

Lacking this basic, playground knowledge- I can only assume that the stratosphere owners were homeschooled. This might also explain why they named their new hotel and casino, the tallest building in the western US, after the atmospheric layer best known for its lack of turbulence and depleted ozone. The Stratosphere- its name and all of its rides- is boring.

And again, Las Vegas expects more.

How about Mesosphere, Mesosphere- after the layer that protects the earth by burning up meteors? Or Magnetospere Las Vegas? Everyone loves those bright aurora things.

Why not make Vegas bright? A meteor shower every night or the Northern Lights perfectly rendered in the clear dessert sky? Why not give all of Vegas something cool to look up to for a change- instead of six tourists, strapped to a giant teeter-totter, dangling over the edge of your boring tower?

From the AP story Tower thrill riders OK after power outage at Las Vegas casino:
“Six tourists were … stranded for about 90 minutes on a casino thrill ride 866 feet above the Las Vegas Strip.”
“Officials blamed a power outage”
"Power remained on inside the casino."