My girlfriend recently got a new cell phone. The first message that she received was not, as you might expect, from the Patrolmen's Benevolent Association. Instead, it was a hilarious, threatening message from some young NY girl that, roughly translated, went something like this:

[girl's name] you fucking bitch. Next time I see you with my man, I'm gonna fuck your ass up. Yeah. Come to school tomorrow- I'm gonna fuck your ass up.

Listen to the Message