Friday, September 29, 2006

Scott Pullins fills your unanswered needs
Because Mount Vernon can never have too many Web Services companies...

On Sept. 10, Pullins Web Services opened up at 110 E. Gambier St. It offers affordable, do-it-yourself Web sites, custom Web sites, online marketing, blog design and domain registrations. According to owner Scott Pullins of Pullins Group LLC, the purpose of Pullins Web Services is to fill an unanswered need for inexpensive, professionally designed Web sites.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Meet Republican Singles

Cincinnati has been called one of the most conservative places in the country.

The Enquirer does know their audience.

I saw this advertisement on their website this morning...

Meet 1000's of "Beautiful Republican Singles"!

How could I NOT click?

Nothing too suprising here, though.

Just lots of pictures of attractive, young, straight white people.

oh- in case you wondered...

There is also a DemocraticPeopleMeet site- with the same pictures of the same attractive, young, straight white people.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Fatwa Friday- with free rubber swords for the kiddies
An Ohio car dealer thinks the 'war on terror' is more than just an election-year slogan to reelect republicans- it is also a great way to sell cars!

From a recent Dispatch article:

In the spot, Keith Dennis of Dennis Mitsubishi talks about "launching a jihad on the automotive market."

Sales representatives "will be wearing burqas all weekend long," the ad says. One of the vehicles on sale "can comfortably seat up to 12 jihadists in the back."

"Our prices are lower than the evildoers’ every day. Just ask the pope! " the ad says. "Friday is fatwa Friday, with free rubber swords for the kiddies."

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Blackwell and Towelie
Listen to this exchange from today's Strickland/Blackwell debate. It went like this:

Strickland: And I reiterate the fact that his math is quite fuzzy. It does not add up.

Moderator:: Mr. Blackwell, you have 30 seconds to respond

Blackwell: Mr. Strickland … is a man without a plan.
And his… his… uh….
HIS math doesn't add up.

Nice one Ken.

Your stuttering response sounds amazingly similar to Towelie ( the pot-smoking Towel from South Park)…

Cartman: I can preach to you all I want 'cause you're stupid!

Towelie: You're stupid!

Cartman: Yeah, you're a towel!

Towelie: You're a towel!

Monday, September 18, 2006

Misspellin' Ken Ackwell

The second debate between the candidates for Ohio's next governor is in two days.

The topic: Education.

But, before Ken goes about trying to solve the education problems of the whole state- he might want to try fixin' things a little closer to home...

like learning how to spell his opponent's name.
With the Internet- All Things Are Possible
I can't believe this guy is still trying to sell his domain name for $250K!

The 2006 Ohio Governor's race is sure to be politically charged. Ken Blackwell and Ted Strickland are fighting it out in this extremely important race for Ohio and the nation. This domain name could be the difference between winning and losing this historic race.

The domain name is available for purchase for $250,000.00 or lease thru 12/31/2006 for a negotiable price.

For futher information, please contact:
Michael Troper

85 Highland Ave.
Worthington, Ohio 43085

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Scott Pullings: Entrepreneur & Consumer Advocate
Scott Pullins, everyone's favorite chubby, bald, insecure Ohio lawyer, has a BRAND SPANKIN' NEW Pullins Report website.

The first post on his new site is titled "Stupid Strickland Photos", and it features a photo of Ted and a cute little baby.

At the top of the page is a photo of scott pullins trying to remember how to find all the people inside the church- and the steeple....

Thursday, September 14, 2006

One of these e-coli symptoms is not like the others
Which of the following symptoms is NOT associated with e. coli:

A. Bloody diarrhea
B. Vomiting
C. Fever
D. Severe abdominal cramps
E. Tiredness
F. None of the above

According to CNN- the answer is F. None of the above.

However, if you answered E- then you get two extra credit points for not calling your doctor every afternoon about 2:30 pm...

No, Dr. Dave, this time I REALLY think I have it!

No- no- no bloody diarrhea yet- but I'm really, really tired....

Democrats for DeWine?

There is a somewhat interesting article in the Other Paper today: Coleman hasn’t made a sound in favor of Brown.

The article speculates that an " icy relationship was formed in the early days of the governor’s race" between Columbus Mayor Mike Coleman and Democratic U.S. Senate nominee Sherrod Brown. Like I said- "somewhat" interesting...

But the article redeems itself near the end when they quote Coleman.

Asked about his conversations with Brown, Coleman replies: “Those have been between he and I, and they’ll stay that way."

If you don't find that that funny now... it will probably be even less funny if I explain the rules of personal pronouns

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Interpretive dancing Karaoke Mimes for Christ

"You gotta see this" screamed my girlfriend from the bedroom.

When I didn't show up immediately, she called again: "Get in here!"

I slowly walked in to the room...

"What is so impor- HAHAHAHAHA!"

This is what was on.

Flipping through channels, she came across this really funny religious mime/dance thing.

It turns out to be part of a really long late-night infomercial for some CDs of a really boring and none-too-bright preacher woman who likes to read very slowly from the bible.

Friday, September 08, 2006

AP Wire | 09/07/2006 | Highlights of campaign activity
Ha ha...

AP Wire 09/07/2006 Highlights of campaign activity: "Highlights of campaign activity
Associated Press
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - The Ohio Elections Commission dismissed a complaint Thursday by Republican gubernatorial candidate Ken Blackwell accusing his Democratic opponent of running a false TV ad.
The 30-second spot by U.S. Rep. Ted Strickland attacks Blackwell's plan to expand health insurance to the poor, claiming Blackwell would force everyone to buy a private plan that could cost a family about $4,800 a year.
But a four-member commission panel ruled unanimously that there was not enough evidence to have the full commission look into the complaint, which was filed last week.
Carlo LoParo, a spokesman for Blackwell, said he's disappointed in the ruling.
Part of Blackwell's plan calls for setting up accounts for the uninsured that would allow them to accumulate money to buy private health coverage. The cost of a family insurance plan cited in the Strickland ad - $4,836 - is disingenuous because it ignores subsidies that he intends to make available to low-income families, Blackwell has argued.
Blackwell, Ohio's secretary of state, also denies that he would force Ohioans to purchase insurance plans they can't afford.
The ad is still airing around the state, said Strickland campaign spokesman Keith Dailey. The campaign stands by the ad, he said.
Please Support My Campaign

I've been getting a lot of emails from Ken Blackwell lately.

The subject of the latest one is "Please Support My Campaign".

In it, he first promises to cut my taxes. Woo hoo!

Then, he says he needs me to give him money for his campaign.


I've seen something like this on a late-night infomercial.

Anyway- here's the full text of the letter- enjoy...

Dear Supporter,

Last week I launched my first campaign ad "Taxin Ted ." With this ad we have begun to tell the people of Ohio what my opponent Ted Strickland really believes. To view the ad click here .

My opponent is already on the air with his misleading ads. In fact we just filed an official complaint against him because he is distorting the truth.

There are only two months until Election Day. I spent Labor Day weekend on the "Road to Jobs" bus tour. I was honored to meet with so many Ohioans from every corner of the state. I plan on campaigning tirelessly across this state for the next two months, informing the voters of my plans for job creation, lower taxes, smaller and honest government, health care reform and education reform.

To do that I need your help! Please click here and give today. We need your help to win this campaign. Please give today.

Remember this campaign could very well be the most important in the country. Don't let the Democrats steal this without a fight. Please click here and contribute as generously as you can.

Thanks and God Bless,
Ken Blackwell

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

A Debate Worth Watching
The first Strickland/Blackwell debate will start in less than an hour.

Blackwell is a tall, intimidating fellow who some expect to dominate the debates.

But Strickland has done a great job of getting the jump on Blackwell throughout the campaign- and I'd like to see him continue that in the debates.

Here is my suggestion: interrupt Blackwell during his opening remarks. It might go something like this...

Blackwell's opening remarks:
"The system is broken, we all kn-"

Strickland interupts:
"blah blah blah" (making talking gesture with his hand)
Silence in the room.

"Jesus, Kenny- do you EVER stop whining?"
A few people in the audience laugh.

"*I* think this state is AWESOME!"
Room erupts with applause.

"But all my opponent does is complain, complain, complain."
Clapping continues...

"Mr. Blackwell…. why do you hate Ohio?"
Audience boos Blackwell.