Friday, January 19, 2007

Shooting Stuff

I was a Bevis and Butthead fan... but never really got into King of the Hill.

However, I found this pretty funny...

Hank Hill: But I never get to bond with Bobby
on account of he's not good at much.
Shooting stuff is something A father and son can do together.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Twenty-Twenty-Twenty Four Hours- Oh No!
Let me start by saying that I like the show 24- even if it is on FOX and even though, in a recent post on RAB, Matt confesses his love for it.

I will admit, there certainly are a lot of things for creepy, right-angled weirdos like Herr Naugle to love about this show. But it is not, as he claims, "the most Republican show of all time".

His statement, however, is not at all suprising.

That's because Matt doesn't understand the difference between being a Republican (i.e. a member of the more 'conservative' of the two political parties in the US) and being a right-winged kook.

In reality, the most Republican TV show of all time would have to be one of the many sit-coms from the 50's or early 60's (Leave it to Beaver, Andy Griffith, etc.)- simple and conservative with lots of white people in traditional family roles.

24, on the other hand, has none of this. It is a tense serial drama about terrorism and torture. It even has TWO black presidents!

Matt and the Republicans will agree on one thing: it's AWESOME that everyone on 24 gets their news from the FOX News Network. The terrorists, CTU (The anti-terrorists) and even the President of the United States; everyone on 24 is watching FOX.

But the more subtle, more serious stuff - the stuff that really gets wingnut juices flowing- would actually be offensive, or just ignored, by most true Republicans.

For example, in the attached photo, Jack Bauer is stabbing some Arab terrorist in the neck with a pen in front of an American flag curtin (see photo).

I'm sure a socially conservative Repubican would be offended by the image, if he wasn't already in bed.

A fiscally conservative Republican, if still awake, would be watching the stock reports from Asia instead of some sit-com on Fox.

Personally, I found it quite amusing.

But Matt and his crew?

They spent the next commercial break quickly and quietly (so as not to wake up Mother) zipping up their pants and cleaning off the TV screen with a tissue.

Monday, January 08, 2007

All Signs Point To...
I have always wondered who was responsible for changing all of those signs that show the name of the Governor- and how soon, after the new Governor takes office, the signs are changed.

Well- I'd like to thank the Toledo Blade for answering one part of this question.

According to the Blade, "Minutes (after Strickland is sworn in as Ohio's new Governor), workers plan to scrape Mr. Taft’s name from the window of the door of the office and replace it with Mr. Strickland’s."

This certainly makes sense. You can't be a respected leader with some other guy's name on your office door.

But what about all of the other signs? Like the really big ones that currently say: WELCOME TO OHIO – Bob Taft, Governor.

Will those all be updated? By whom? When?

Here's a better question: will Ted put his name up there too?

It seems like a waste of our tax dollars to change these perfectly good street signs every few years just to promote a recently elected official .

I did a little research (very little, actually) and found a photo of the Welcome to Ohio sign from the early 70's- and a more recent one.

You'll notice that they didn't used to have the name of the Governor on the sign.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Creation Museum Puts Artifacts of History in True, Biblical Context
Something big is happening in Petersburg, KY. Something monumental.

They are building a museum. A very special museum. And it's about damn time.

For far too long 'science' has had a monopoly on museums. But that is about to change with the Creation Museum now under construction in Petersburg, KY.

Unlike Traditional, Godless Natural History museums that focus only on the theory of evolution,
the new Creation Museum will provide its visitors with a bible-focused "walk through history" as it really happened; as it was dictated to us by God in the Bible.

The new Creation Museum will provide the correct (i.e. biblical) context for the artifacts of history normally found in the traditional, homosexual-run museums.

At long last, you will be able to see life-size dinosaurs in larger-than life dioramas depicting the
world at the time these great creatures lived alongside man… over SIX THOUSAND YEARS AGO.

Unfortunately, the museum is still under construction and they don't plan to be open until at least June, 2007.

In the mean time, I recommend checking out their really great website. Especially the online walkthrough of the future Creation Museum , which gives you a glimpse of what you will be able to see on your vacation to Kentucky next summer.

Stay tuned for my next post where I will provide some advice and insight for visitors to this new kind of museum.
Biblical Natural History In Petersburg, KY
Answers in Genesis, the group building a creation museum in Petersburg, KY, couldn't have chosen a better site for their $25 million temple to the simple beauty of history as defined by literal bible interpretation.

For the uninitiated, here is the description from their website:

The 50,000 sq. ft. Creation Museum located within the greater Cincinnati area will proclaim the Bible as supreme authority in all matters of faith and practice in every area it touches on. Set to open in June 2007, this “walk through history” museum will counter evolutionary natural history museums that turn countless minds against Christ and Scripture.

Petersburg is a community in Louisville, KY. According to info from the last Census, Petersburg has a Population of only 1,843. 97.45% are white and 71.712% are Republican.

Yes- Petersburg is the perfect place for a small group of Christian soldiers to make their stand against the Science Conspiracy's anti-faith agenda. Finally, a museum where Christian Home schooled children can learn the truth.

Stay tuned for my review of their awesome website!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007


I found this above the urinal at a local bar. It says:


Everyone knows that bathroom graffiti always contains grammar and spelling mistakes.

One of the most common is the use of "your" instead of "you're". (usually in the form of: your a fucking idiot- or some such retort)

Therefore if the incorrect use of "your" was the only mistake in this message then I certainly wouldn't have bothered to include it here.

But this one has another wonderful and amusing spelling mistake: "tareing". (Which I assume is supposed to be "tearing" i.e. ripping)

That's an original one- and not just for bathroom walls.

A google search finds only '2,700 results for tareing' - making me think the author of this graffiti is pretty original.

And, except for the crappy internet poets (e.g. tareing up the sheets ), this turns out to be true:

June 29, 1805
Captain William Clark
(of Lewis and Clark fame)

Captain William Clark... a torrent of rain and hail fell more violent than ever I saw before, the rain fell like one voley of water falling from the heavens and gave us time only to get out of the way of a torrent of water which was Poreing down the hill in[to] the River with emence force tareing every thing before it takeing with it large rocks & mud,
Warning: Shoe Contains Security Device

While returning my shoes after bowling, I noticed this message printed on the inside:

Warning: Shoe Contains Security Device

Whatever could it be?

I walked outside the bowling alley, to my car, while wearing these shoes earlier in the evening.

No alarm went off.

They might as well have written Warning: beware of dog.

Anyway- I can't imagine anyone would really be fooled by this message.

Instead, they should consider writing: Please don't steal our shoes or we'll be really, really sad.
Pat Robertson: God's Comic

Want to know what IS NOT going to happen this year?

Just check out Pat Robertson's 2007 predictions.

This year he is predicting a big terrorist attack on the US.

Which actually seems pretty likely.

However, I am convinced that God is again screwing with Pat for being such a twit.

Here are some of the things God told Pat in previous years...

If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms. There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest.

According to NOAA, California and Oregon had normal precipitation in 2006 and Washington State was actually below normal.

2005 will be another good year for the world. The terrorist threat will diminish. Nations will walk in peace.

According to the US State Department, "The number of terrorist attacks worldwide increased nearly fourfold in 2005 to 11,111, with strikes in Iraq accounting for 30 percent of the total"

I think George Bush is going to win in a walk. I really believe I'm hearing from the Lord it's going to be like a blowout election in 2004.

According to Media Matters for America, "Bush's margin of victory was the smallest for a reelected incumbent president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916."

And if you don't yet believe God is screwing with Mr. Robertson- here are some more of His political predictions:

Sen. Jay Rockefeller will win the presidential election of 1996

Pat Robertson will win the presidential election of 1988

The world economy will collapse in 1985

Russia will invade Israel in 1982

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


Who isn't sick and tired of hearing about Lance fucking Armstrong?

I know I am.

But, for those few die-hard, yellow-bracelet-wearing fanatics out there...

American Century Investments has something just for you: LIVESTRONG Portfolios.

What the hell does this have to do with Cycling or with Cancer, you might ask?


This is about branding.

Anyway, if you are interested, another Ohio blogger (Kira, at Penny Foolish) did a good review of the fund. I especially like the part about the strange licensing agreement between Livestrong and ACI.

Target had stacks of these Traditional Electric Menorahs at their post-holiday sale.

According to, Traditional is defined as "pertaining to time-honored orthodox doctrines".

Observant Orthodox Jews, however, do not turn on electric appliances on the Sabbath (i.e. Saturday).

This year, Chanukah started on a Saturday (Dec. 16th).

Maybe next year they'll sell better.