a voting machine.

If you liked Voltron: Defender of the Universe ( the lion one, not the crappy vehicle one), then you are going to LOVE voting in Ohio…

Activate interlock! Dynotherms connected! Infracells up! Mega thrusters are go! LET'S GO IVOLTRONIC FORCE!

If you just can't wait until- then try it out now with the online iVotronic simulator.

I always thought George Voinovich was a pretty decent guy.

Maybe it's because he is from my home town (Cleveland) and he's half Slovenian (like me).

Maybe it's because he has, on occasion, gone against the Bush administration, voting against Bolton and Bush's retarded tax cuts and earning him the label of "disloyal" by conservative activists.

Then I saw this letter; a response to a question about his vote on the "Marriage Protection Amendment".

I can forgive the guy for sending out a form letter containing the party's talking points- especially on some in-the-news issue like same-sex marriage.

But this one goes too far.

The first paragraph starts off as expected: "I support the traditional definition of marriage, and I believe it should be protected"

Standard republican message. Nothing too crazy.

The second paragraph, however, just jumps right off the edge of sane-town…

"In a world where images and descriptions of violence, sex, and drugs permeate our culture, must do all that we can to provide them"

How did we go from "I support traditional marriage" to "Gay people are violent drug-abusers that are a danger to our children"???

I tried to read the rest of the letter but I couldn't get past that part.

It's unbelievable, really.

And I can't get it out of my head.

I'll have to postpone my clever closing. Instead, I'll leave you with two facts.

1. The annual Cleveland Gay Pride Festival is held at Voinovich Bicentennial Park

2. In a study titled The Potential Budgetary Impact of Recognizing Same-Sex Marriages, the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) estimates that recognizing same-sex marriages in all 50 states "would improve the budget's bottom line", adding as much as $1 Billion a year over the next ten years.

Let me start by saying: I'm sure your heart was in the right place.

But PLEASE give me a call the next time you are thinking about doing something like this.

I PROMISE you I can find something better to say than Ken Blackwell "currently serves as the dictorial Republican idiot to George W. Bush."

If nothing else- I will tell you that "dictorial" isn't a word. And that you were probably trying to say "dictAtorial" ("of or pertaining to a dictator or dictatorship")- which IS a word, but really not that funny.

What about Dick-datorial? That would have gotten a chuckle, at least.

The other, more important thing I will say is: try to be a little more subtle.

If, for no other reason than your change will take much longer to get noticed. Also, it will probably be much funnier.

For example...

• I heard he has a large collection of antique teapots and he really loves opera.
• I heard his kids middle names are all from the muppets.
• I heard there was an article from his college newspaper listing him as one of the students caught molesting a sheep.
  
  
  
  
  

Charlie Winburn is going to lead Blackwell's campaign in Hamilton County-

From his picture, you would think that he was a pretty sane and reasonable guy.

But no one like that works on Ken's campaign- and this guy is no exception.

Cinci black bloggers have called him a fool and claim that he "used drugs and eventually left his first wife" and "preached intolerance against gays".

What a surprise! A crazy, conservative, gay-hating preacher working on the Blackwell campaign.

Anyway, he is also:

• A Former City Council Member and a failed Republican mayoral candidate in Cincinnati

• Pastor of the Ridge Acres Christian Center and founder of "Encampment", a biblical training camp in Cincinnati.

• Author of Releasing the Money Anointing- a self-help book that teaches the reader how to get money from God.

• Author of "Ruling and Reigning in the '90s" in which he claims that it is the job of Christians to "elect only born-again Christians to public office". He also writes that a wife "must be taught what her boundaries are".

I received the following comment on my recent post about Matt Naugle:

you're kind of mean. Remember, until about three months ago he was a student at OSU… Hiring a college student probably just shows they place a low value on blogging (which is evident if you see how ineffective it has been for them).

I couldn't have said it any better myself.

And, just in case you needed further proof…

In his post about the crap Ken did last weekend, the official blogger for the Blackwell campaign shows off his OSU education with 6 apostrophe errors in two paragraphs. (the errors are in bold- and described at the end)

THE BLACKWELL'S (1) TOUR DARKE COUNTY FAIR
On Sunday, Ken and Rosa Blackwell toured the Darke County Fair in Greenville. The Blackwell's (2) began their tour at the Darke County Republican booth, speaking to 30 campaign supporters and then toured the cattle barn, sheep barn, swine barn, rabbit barn, Darke County veteran’s (3) booth, and the Coliseum where Secretary Blackwell signed the Ohio Right to Life petition.

THE BLACKWELL'S (4) ATTEND MIAMI COUNTY GOP PICNIC
Sunday evening, Ken and Rosa Blackwell joined 120 Miami County Republicans at the Miami County Republican Picnic in West Milton. Later, the Blackwell's (5) stopped by the Troy Mayors’ (6) Concert in downtown Troy.

Sure, these are all common errors. And one- hell, even two- could slip by without comment. But six stupid errors? In two paragraphs? Unbelievable.

Ok, so maybe now I AM being mean.

---------------------------------------------------------------
1, 2, 4, 5 – The apostrophe makes it possessive. For example: Blackwell's Retarded Blogger.

3 – Man, I'd sure like to meet the one veteran from Darke County. They even gave him his own booth!

6 – How many Mayors does Troy have?

If you want to know if the politicians from your state are sucking on the tit of the evangelical christians, then ask them about stem cell research.

Tell them that China is going to be the world leader in stem cell research.

Tell them that a federal grant for stem cell research will bring a bunch of job-creating, economy-boosting, FREE federal money home to your state.

If they tell you it is immoral- then you know where their loyalties fall. And you know who to vote OUT OF OFFICE this year.

Any politician that puts aside national pride, the economy AND the promise of pork has been lured over to the dark side.

I predict THIS will be THE issue, stem cell research, to will finally bring the republicans to their senses.

We saw it recently on a national level when the Republican president vetoed the Cell Research Enhancement Act- a bill supported by 51 house republicans.

And we are seeing it now in Ohio.

Ken Blackwell recently commented that embryonic stem cell research is the "harvesting human life in the name of research".

I guess he didn't get the memo.

Deborah Pryce did. In a recent television ad, she says that "modern science is at the cusp of finding cures and stem cell research is a huge part of this."

This makes her independent, says the ad. Some may call her immoral or disloyal.

I just think it means that she isn't totally retarded.

Anyway- for a guy who wants to be the "black Ronald Reagan", he might want to start listening to the former president's wife and son on this issue.

Or else he might end up being known as the guy who wouldn't fund research that could have saved Ronald Reagan- making him very unpopular at republican parties.

In a recent television ad, Deborah Pryce claims she "stood up to her own party" when she voted for embryonic stem cell research.

That's one way of looking at it, I suppose. The ad, however, seems to be missing a lot of important information…

For example, she never says which "party" she belongs to. I wonder, is "Republican" the new "Liberal" in Ohio politics?

Also, she doesn't mention that 51 other Republicans also voted FOR the bill because everyone knew the president planned to veto the bill (which he did) and they couldn't override the veto (which they couldn't).

More importantly, the ad fails to mention all of the times that she DID toe the party line. I will go out on a limb here and guess that NONE of her ads will ever reveal that Rep. Pryce voted to:

• Reject a timetable for the withdrawal of U.S. troops
  
• Extend the Bush tax cuts
  
• Cut nearly $40 billion in welfare, child support and student lending programs.
  
• Give political appointees more power to make decisions about endangered species
  
• Offer tax breaks and incentives to energy companies
  
• Establish a free trade zone between the United States, Costa Rica, El Salvador, Gautemala,
• Honduras and Nicaragua
  
• Give federal courts jurisdiction in the Terri Schiavo dispute.

We also probably won't hear that, out of the 32 house members with the astrological sign Leo (Deb was born July 29th), she was one of 19 that voted for the stem cell bill- along with Ted Strickland (also a Leo). And that Marilyn Quayle, Peter Jennings and Benito Mussolini were also born on July 29th.

I happened to be in Salt Lake City during Utah's recent primary election and I was informed that I could only order a "regular" beer.

That's because Utah forbids liquor and hard beer (over 3.2% alcohol) sales until after the polls close.

Interesting.

Maybe if other states had a similiar law, the last presidential election may have gone much differently.

By September, Congress will have spent over $318.5 billion on Bush's poorly-planned war in Iraq.

According to a recent Reuters article, that money "has done little to help ordinary Iraqis". The Iraqi economy is in "deep trouble" and "inflation has soared since the 2003 invasion, sapping the living standards of Iraqis".

But we aren't finished yet.

If we continue to stay this retarded course, we will need to find an additional $50 billion to complete the reconstruction along with another $1 billion a year to maintain it.

But the war hasn't just made life worse for Iraqis.

The war will cost Ohio taxpayers $11.2 BILLION. That's money that could have been used for to address issues important to Ohioans such as crime, jobs, healthcare and education.

For example, Ohio could have used that money to:

• Hire 258,619 Public Safety Officers
• Hire 227,647 Port Container Inspectors
• Provide Health Care for 5,995,436 children
• Give Scholarships to 1,679,651 University Students
• Build 1,257 New Elementary Schools

Sometime today Ken Blackwell's blog decided to remove a post from the 14th comparing Ted Strickland to Fidel Castro. I have included a screen shot of the original post below.



So...

I started thinking about all of the people Ken Blackwell reminds me of.

Gaddafi / Saddam


Mao


OJ


Pol Pot


Kim Jong Il


and of course, Hitler.


Oh- and one for the other side:
Bill Clinton

The Bible is long.

The 66 books that make up the Old and New Testament contain 783,137 words in 31,101 verses and 1,189 chapters.

Compare that to other “classic” (read: long) books like Tolstoy’s War and Peace (560,000 words) or Stephen King’s It (434,811 words).

That’s a lot of stuff to remember- even for devout, bible-carrying Christians like Ken Blackwell and Tom Raga.

Could this be the reason they only seem to remember that one part about homosexuality?

Leviticus 18:22: "Thou shall not lie with mankind as with womankind: it is abomination."

Ken Blackwell insists that these twelve words prove that being gay “is a transgression against God's law."

12 words. That’s roughly 0.047% of the book of Leviticus (25,500 words) and about 0.0015323% of the Bible.

And what about the other 99.9984677% of the Bible? What about the other 25,388 words in Leviticus?

For a guy that is so interested in God’s law, you would think he could find some time to read the other parts

After reading just a little bit of Leviticus, most sane individuals will realize that “God’s Laws”, as defined in Leviticus, are a little crazy-sounding and extremely out-of-date.

Jesus came to this conclusion (in Matthew 5:38-39) over 2000 years ago.

And who are you going to believe, Ken Blackwell or Jesus Christ?

Maybe Ken just hasn’t gotten to that part yet. Or maybe, he DID read it and realized that he is in violation of a whole shit-load of those laws… starting with the swine.

Leviticus 11:7-8
Swine-related warnings can be found throughout both books of the Bible. Leviticus 11:7 classifies pigs as unclean animals and 11:8 strictly forbids their consumption or contact with their remains.

Blackwell and Raga's recent pork-filled visit to the Ohio State Fair was a clear violation of this law.

While Tom Raga was busy eating a big plate of pork ribs, Ken was giving a speech at the hog exhibition during which he promised “to double the state's pork production by 2025.”

Leviticus 21:16-23
In this law, anyone with a disease or a handicap is forbidden from attending church- this includes people with eye problems.

Ken Blackwell, wearing his usual eyeglasses, is shown here with Russell Johnson at Fairfield Christian Church in Lancaster. ( One could also argue that he is breaking the fourth commandment by working on a Sunday )


Leviticus 20:27
A short-haired, clean-shaven Ken Blackwell has, without question, broken this law, which states: "You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard.” (And he is still wearing those glasses)


Leviticus 25:35
Instead of helping the poor, as instructed by this law, Blackwell calls for an end to welfare in his book Rebuilding America.

Following the highly successful interview with Ohio's Pork Queen, KBTV** has released a powerful and very informative video of interviews with interns and staff who, by the way, just happen to be black.

Did they go to all of this trouble just because I, on multiple occasions, poked a little fun at Ken's all white and mostly male campaign staff?

I'd like to think so.

More than likely, it's the work of LeBron's old publicist and her plan to win over some of Ohio's black voters.

** KBTV: "Ken's Boring me with These Videos" or maybe "Ken's Blog's Terrible Videos"?

Ken Mehlmon was in Ohio last week insisting that Ned Lamont’s primary win over Joe Leiberman proves that “defeatism and isolationism are now Democratic Party orthodoxy.”

The GOP, he claims, is “a big-tent party, where independent voices like Mike DeWine, Ken Blackwell and George Voinovich are welcomed.”

Oh yes, I forgot. The Republicans all get along and agree on everything. Especially these three guys…

Remember the love in Ken Blackwell’s TV ads during this year’s primary election for Ohio Governor? You know- the ones where he trashes his opponent (Petro) AND the current Republican governor (Taft), accusing Petro of having "ethics worse than Taft’s."

Oh- and let’s not forget the negative ads run by the Club for Growth ** against Voinovich and other Republican Senators who didn’t jump on Bush’s tax-cutting bandwagon.

Even Dewine is forced to take sides sometimes…

BLITZER: Do you believe, Senator DeWine, that George W. Bush has run an honorable campaign?

SEN. MIKE DEWINE (R), OHIO: You know, Wolf, we're going to have to go forward after this election with one of these two candidates, and I just tell you that one of the things I have found, constituents yesterday when I was going door to door in Canton, Ohio found irritating, and that is the fact that this Texas billionaire put $2 million into this race, and a lot of that has shown up in the state of Ohio. And I think people think that's just not right.
(from CNN Late Edition, March 5, 2000)

Ladies and Gentlemen...
Welcome to the NEW Republican Party
Now with a NEW, Bigger Tent


** Wikipedia : “In 2004, the Club for Growth caused a stir within the Republican Party by endorsing and heavily supporting U.S. Representative Pat Toomey, who challenged incumbent Senator Arlen Specter in the Republican primary in Pennsylvania. The organization was reported to have collected contributions totaling $800,000 for Toomey. It also spent $1 million on its own independent television advertising campaign on Toomey's behalf. Despite this overwhelming support, Toomey lost the race, and then proceeded to take his current position of president of the Club for Growth.”

Note: This is the first in a series of posts based on the photos I took today at the Ohio State Fair.

The first thing you see when you walk in to the "Nationwide Ag. and Hort. Building" is this map of Ohio.

It drew my attention because I saw something very similar in my parent's attic the last time I was home. MY map represented Ohio's Native American burial sites in salt dough. It was, if I remember correctly, created for my seventh-grade Ohio Studies class.

The map at the fair was much larger than the one I created and, given that it was not made from salt dough, I assume much less prone to cracking on the long bus ride to junior high.

Also, the fair map represented the primary agricultural product of each of Ohio's 88 counties instead of indian burial grounds.

For example, there are two plastic pigs pasted inside the outline of Coshocton. Putnam has Potatoes, Mahoning has Sunflowers and Franklin has a picture of a Golf Course. (after reviewing the map’s key, I discovered that Franklin County is a big producer of sod)

I found this map quite interesting and informative and spent at least ten minutes reviewing all of the crap pasted to the big piece of cardboard. To my suprise, everyone else walked right by...

Anyway- just as I was about to walk away to get a closer look at the REALLY large tractor outside, I noticed something extremely funny stapled to Stark County: a plastic-wrapped block of Kroger swiss cheese.


If you don’t find this funny- please read my previous post about Blackwell’s swiss cheese comment.

Or, check out the video.

Which political party has historically lowered the unemployment rate in Ohio?

Comparing yearly unemployment rates in Ohio against the party affiliation of the sitting US President and Ohio Governor reveals, without a doubt, that having a Democrat in either office is good for Ohio.

On average, having a Republican President and Governor INCREASES the unemployment rate by .97! (Ohio's unemployment rate for 2005 was 5.9%)

A Democratic President can help lower the unemployment rate by .22%- even with a Republican Governor.

But statistics show that a Democratic Governor can help lower the unemployment rate by 0.63% !

There is, unfortunatley, no data to show how having a Democrat in both offices will impact the unemployment rate in Ohio.

Let's hope we can find out in 2009.

Ken Blackwell went to the Ohio State Fair... "At the O’Neill Building, he spoke to hog farmers and the 2006 Pork Queen"....

According to the rules set forth by the Ohio Pork Producers Council: “The purpose of the queen program is to improve the image of pork and pork producers. The queen will serve as a goodwill ambassador for the Pork Industry.”

And what enlightened, insightful and relevant information did Ken share with these dedicated, pork-producing small-business owners and their newly-crowned queen?

"Most people don’t know that we lead the nation in the production of Swiss cheese."

Out-of-touch city-dwellers like Mr. Blackwell (and his speech writers) may think that all farm folk are the same. But the truth is: hog farmers couldn't give a shit about cows and their products (e.g. cheese).

So when Ken proudly declared that “one of his one top policy advisors was a former Sheep and Wool Queen", I’m sure the Pork Queen, and all of her supporters, dropped their jaws in amazement. Expecting applause, or at least a polite chuckle, Ken found his comment met only with the sad squeeling of prize-winning pigs- made audible when all of the humans in attendence fell silent- amazed by this ridiculously stupid remark.

Note to Ken’s Speech Writers: The LAST thing you want to tell a room full of HOG farmers is: I have a SHEEP industry representative as my policy advisor.

Oh- one more thing: If you are going to lie- at least get your facts straight… There IS a “Lamb and Wool” Queen, but “Sheep and Wool” have no associated crown.

Did you know that there was an Ohio State Barber Board?

Neither did I.

According to their website:

The Board was established in 1934 to protect the public by establishing, maintaining and monitoring sanitary and professional standards in the barber industry. The Board's mission is to enforce those standards through examinations, routine inspections, investigations and disciplinary action.

The next test is 9:00 A.M. on August 28. Don't be late.

Despite all of his talk about out-of-state campaign contributions from "the left coast", Ken Blackwell was recently in Orange County, California to attend yet another backyard fund-raising event.

Scott Baugh, chairman of the Republican Party of Orange County and well-paid, OC lobbyist, hosted the event at his Huntington Beach home.

According to Scott, Orange County is "America's Most Republican County". Not suprisingly, it is also one of America's Whitest Counties - with an African-American population of about 1.5%- and a big source of campaign contributions for Ken Blackwell.

Even though there were fewer than 40 people in attendance, Blackwell raised over $18K at the event- bringing his total OC contributions for 2006 to well over the $30K mark.

After a prayer, the pledge of allegiance and Dennis Prager's rambling culture war speech (which included numerous references to Mel Gibson), Ken proceeded to give his standard speech:

1. "I was a Football Star" story/joke - did I mention that I was Drafted by Dallas Cowboys?
2. I was mayor of Cinci - after Jerry Springer (wait for laughter to stop)
3. I was a lacky for the first Bush Administration (before I stole the election for his son)
4. I was the first African-American elected to executive office in Ohio (when I beat an African-American woman for state Treasurer)
5. I popularized and legitimized gay bashing with an ammendment to Ohio's constitution
6. MY poll numbers say that the Ohio Governor's race is really close.

But the audience didn't seem to care that this was his standard, cookie-cutter speech. And why would they? A football star that hates gay people? Now THAT'S a politician that the OC can rally behind.

Ken Blackwell and his campaign staff have consistantly failed to connect with Ohio voters- especially African-Americans.

And it seems like they are honestly surprised that their extreme and divisive stance on social issues isn’t warmly received by all straight Christians.

But it’s the black voters that really have Ken’s all white campaign staff scratching their heads in amazement and asking: why don’t they support Ken- he’s one of them.

Now it seems someone on the campaign finally recognized the retardedness of their “blacks will vote for our candidate because he’s black” theory. But, instead of showing flexibility and insight by modifying their message to appeal to a different group of voters, they came up with another equally retard but much more racist theory: “blacks will vote for our candidate because we told them to”.

This new theory has spawned a new plan (Plan B) to “cut into the traditional stronghold Democrats have on the black vote”. The first step in the execution of Plan B: hire LeBron James’ publicist to “coordinate the Blackwell campaign's outreach to black voters”.

Good lord! Why would a black politician need to hire a publicist to help him reach black voters? And will it help?

Sure, given the short memory of the American electorate, it isn’t unreasonable to think that a good publicist could “help” some voters forget that Ken screwed them once in the last election.

Shame on Ken.

But after getting screwed a second time in the recent primary elections, and with Ken preparing to do it a third time in November, trying to convince voters that Ken is “one of them” is going to take a lot more work that promoting a young basketball player with exceptional talent.

Ken Blackwell is no LeBron James.

And, regardless of what the publicist says, Millionaire Ken Blackwell is nothing like the people in Cuyahoga County- Ohio’s largest county with a 28.8% African-American population and, more than likely, where Plan B will focus on winning votes.

For example, we don’t know exactly how much money Ken made last year (because he won’t release his tax records) but we can assume he probably took home a hell of a lot more than $39,440- the median household income in Cuyahoga Country.

How else could he afford his house in Columbus AND his 7 room condo in Cincinnatti valued at $550,000 when the average Cuyahoga County home is worth only $113,800?

Plan B is going to backfire revealing Ken Blackwell as the opportunistic shit he really he. Cuyahoga County voters will reject him in an ironic twist of fate (and words): "Fool me twice--won't get fooled again!"

Speaking of rumors involving the wives of politicians...

Did anyone else hear about Laura Bush filming a TV ad for Benetton?

Scott Pullins, through his blog the Pullins Report, claims to provide "Comprehensive, Insider Commentary on Ohio Political and Consumer Issues".

Today's post, unoriginally titled Outing the Stricklands, attempts to give some teeth to the rumors included in Gary Landford's nasty email personally attacking Ted and Frances Strickland.

In short- Gary sent an email to a bunch of religous folks in Ohio claiming that the Sticklands were gay because they didn't live together. It turns out that this wasn't true- and Gary was fired by the OHIO GOP for being a twit (i.e. getting caught).

So along comes big ol' Scott Pullins and his "evidence". Trust me when I say: all of his conclusions are incorrect and most of his facts are wrong.

I'm not going to waste my (or your) time going through each one. Instead, I'll just disprove the one that Scott calls "the real kicker". He claims that Frances Strickland "certified to an agency of the State of Kentucky that she is a resident of that state."

Which agency is that, Scott?

According to the company's annual report- she lives in Columbus, OH.



[click for complete image]

So much for Comprehensive Insider Commentary.

You can't compare the results of two different polls.

But that's exactly what the most recent press release from the Blackwell campaign does.

Here is their logic:

1. Last week's Dispatch poll showed Ken down by 20 points.
2. Today's Rasmussen poll only shows Ken down by 11 points.
3. Therefore Ken has gained 9 points in "the polls".

This certainly is a misrepresentation of the facts- if not a straight up lie.

The truth is, Blackwell has actually gained 2 points since the last Rasmussen poll in June- and three points since the poll in May.

Results from the last three Rasmussen polls (Strickland to Blackwell)

May 18, 2006 : 52% to 36%
June 27, 2006 : 50% to 37%
August 1, 2006 : 50% to 39%

You won't find anything too suprising on Ken Blackwell's endorsements page.

He got endorsements from his own party and from a bunch of out-of-work, right-wing nuts like Zell Miller and JC Watts.

And, of course, he has received endorsements (and a lot of money) from all of the usual partisan organizations like Ohioans for Concealed Carry and the Republican National Coalition for Life.

He did not, however, receive an endorsement from the Buckeye Firearms Association- even though it is included in the list.

Buckeye has not made an endorsement in this race saying "both Ken Blackwell and Ted Strickland are good on our issues."

Ken Blackwell's website includes incorrect information?

Like I said: nothing suprising.